Welcome to America

I write from seat 15F on a Virgin America to JFK.  Just 8 hours ago, I completed the first part of my graduate application to UCLA.  Upon landing, I will take the A to Penn Station, and the New Jersey Transit to Penn Jersey.  I will then greet my friend Ashley by skipping, jumping up and down while clapping ecstatically and screaming.  Because tomorrow night, we’re gonna go see





Hair Hibernation


In case you didn’t know, protective styling is key for black women for ultimate healthiness and growth.  I do this a lot myself – I’ll do 6 flat twists and keep them in 4 – 5 days at a time.  But that gets boring super quick because if you know me, you know I LOVE to style my hair every which a-way and every single day.  That’s why I got a sew-in half-weave this summer.  I kept it in for two and a half months.  When I took it down, my braided down hair had grown quite a lot, but the hair that I kept “out” was heat damaged and shorter than the rest.  In the long term, the end result was a negative.  I want to rest and protect my hair for a while though, so that’s why I got me a wig.


HEEEEYYYYYY!!!  The above – debut at a fashion show last night by Apartment3 – Unique LA.  When I first bought the wig it was in curly soft corkscrew curls, so I got to work frizzing it out so it can look as much like my own hair as possible.  I hope to make further progress in the quest for kinkyness.

This is the LaJay quick-weave by Vanessa.  I first heard about it while doing some hair tip surfing last week, and knew that it would be The Solution to my hair hibernation wants.  Apparently, there’s only ONE store in all of Los Angeles that sells it, and that’s Victoria Wig on Vermont at 69th St. just south of Slauson.  If you live elsewhere in our great United States (or even… the world!), visit the Vanessa website and you can send them a message asking for a list of stores in your area that purchase from them.  Otherwise, you can order online, but I feel wary of ordering wigs online (that’s just me).


In Memoriam: Indie 103.1 2005 - 2009

I never got a chance to wax poetic about my most favoritest radio station ever in the history of radio stations, so although this is 18 months after the fact, I would like to pay tribute to Indie 103.1.

The concept of the station was music for music lovers delivered by music makers with very little playlisting (in the beginning).  Before this station, I had never heard of X, had never heard a single Elvis Costello song, had only heard maybe 2 or 3 punk songs, had never heard of the New York Dolls, would never have been exposed to country music that I could enjoy, would never have known of MGMT, MIA, or LCD Soundsystem (you can keep Vampire Weekend, though – blegh).

Steve Jones of The Sex Pistols hosted a show every day called “Jonesy’s Jukebox”, and he played his favorite tunes and made some up on the spot while hosting awesome indie/alternative guests.  The “Mighty Morning Show” was hosted by Dickie Barrett of The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and MAN was his show good!  The topics and guests were ALWAYS interesting, he started a thing called “Tat-Tuesday” where musicians and others would get tattooed live in studio during the show (and if he couldn’t find anyone, he would get one himself).  Barrett was pretty funny, and I learned about a lot of music on his show that I’d NEVER would have heard of in any other context.  One of my favorite shows was “Camp Freddy Radio”, hosted by Dave Navarro, Donovan Leitch, Matt Sorum, and Billy Morrison (I may be forgetting someone).  Who would have thought that Dave Navarro was so frickin’ funny?  He and his bandmates had great chemistry and their shows were always entertaining, and they played great music.  For a long while, Rob Zombie had an evening show that he hosted with his wife, which was entertaining just for the sheer fact that Rob Zombie is an ornery-ass dude.  And if you enjoy listening to Henry Rollins on NPR right now, you can thank Indie for that.  He hosted a show once a week called “Harmony in my Head”, and it was wonderful because even if you didn’t all like the music he played, you had to get high off of his sheer frenetic energy and passion.  He curated his shows.  A few of my other favorite shows was “Watusi Rodeo”, “Feel My Heat”, and “Head Trip” with Christian B.

In the beginning of Indie’s history, they were very anti-corporate, sticking it to bland-ass KROQ in every way, playing real music, having original ideas (visit here for a complete rundown on the history of the station).  They covered the waterfront when it came to different music genres – reggae, indie, alternative, punk, country, metal, Latin alternative, old shit, new shit.  As time went on, though, you noticed a change.  The suits running the station started to enforce more of a commercial-friendly playlist during the times that the featured/themed shows weren’t on.  I woke up one morning to find that Dickie Barrett’s gravelly voice would no longer be gracing my eardrums – he had been fired over some BS.  In my opinion, it all went downhill from that.  Barrett was replaced by Joe Escalante, a member of The Vandals and host of the Friday show “Barely Legal Radio” where he would give advice pertaining to entertainment law.  That dude was boring as FUCK!!!  (sorry Mommy, but it’s true and there’s no other way to express that)


Shows were being dropped here and there, and then all of a sudden, they were gone.  103.1 is now El Gato.  I still keep a memory button in my car dedicated to the frequency.  There were a lot of theories as to why it happened, but the one that seemed to make the most sense to me had to do with ratings (Conan O’Brien, anyone?).  Apparently, Arbitron changed the way they were measuring radio ratings, and according to their new system, people weren’t listening, meaning advertisers would see that data and forego buying ad space.  This isn’t true, though; hundreds of thousands of people were listening, just not in the way that they were measuring:  it’s like they had never heard of the internet!  Nevertheless, Indie is no longer here, and that’s that.

I loved the hell out of Dickie Barrett and Steve Jones, they drove that station and made it as cool as it got.  Warm feelings toward old white dudes I’ll never meet, and others.  Rest In Peace, Indie, you rarely let me down and I’m culturally richer as a result of your efforts.  Pouring a belated glass of red wine out on the curb for you, my friend.






PS – they’re online, but it’s not the same, dammit!

PPS – Jonesy’s Jukebox is now on KROQ (ew!) every Sunday for a couple hours in the evening.  I haven’t checked it out yet.  I should, because I love that dude.  But that would involve me having to actually listen to KROQ…


Aural Pleasure

 Houseproudtv Wally Callerio 11 19 2010 by WallyCallerio 

…breakin’ you off a little sumpin’-sumpin’ on a Saturday morning


Is it just me,


or was Harrison Ford on X-tacy last night during his Conan interview?

This makes up for that whole divorce debacle 10x over!

Oh! And…



thoughts, in my head (i’m a clown)


  • I’m thinking that the Bottle Service is for Tourists blog is suck-tastic, and I withdraw my earlier endorsement.  The dude makes so many word usage, spelling, and punctuation mistakes that it’s hard to take his self-satisfied editorializing seriously.  He may be right about the mechanics of how nightlife works in LA, but he’s wrong about just about everything else.  If you let too many minorities party in your club, you’re not doing something right, according to him.  And if no celebrities show up, then it negates the great time that everyone may have had nonetheless.


  • I’m thinking that I should be The Dude next Halloween.  My friend Diana got me hooked on white russians a couple months ago, and I’ll look pretty sexy holding one while wearing a white shirt, some shorts, and a robe as I walk down Santa Monica Blvd. again.


  • I’m thinking of doing Brasil twice next year, in addition to Italy.  Italy will be a tax write-off, and the two Brasil trips will be for different purposes (fun and a wedding).  And I’m seriously considering a solo weekend jaunt to Vegas to visit some brethren and catch a Cirque du Soleil show.  Residuals are so enabling!


  • I’m thinking that I have a really great chance of getting into UCLA’s grad program.  They’re hard to get into, but I’ve been very active since my undergrad days.  There’s no other MFA program that appeals to me right now, and I think that if I go at it from the right angle then it’s a done deal.  I’ll definitely be playing up my performances at artLA and NADA, and my residency overseas.


  • I’m thinking that cooperation > competition, and that competition is for the insecure.  People who need to constantly compare themselves to others and be judged as better make me shake my head.  Many people say that competition is what makes America great, but they’re wrong because there’s very little competition here.  What we do have a history of is cooperation.  Whenever people have gotten together, much change has been effected for the better (the Grangers, civil rights, trade unionism, gay rights, the abolition movement, worker’s rights, etc.).


  • I’m thinking that if you can guess the reference I made in the title of this, then you deserve a kiss.  For real.  If you can tell me where I got it from, I will kiss you the next time I see you, and squarely on your temple.  If I’ve never met you or you don’t live near me, I’ll send you a video/virtual kiss.


Big Brother Needs to Get a Clue


Facebook has become omniscience itself.  Somehow it knew, during my last relationship, that my boyfriend was Jewish even though I didn’t specify him when I changed my relationship status.  I started getting all kinds of ads for JDate, various Chabad groups, and encouraging me to “Like” Chanukah.


He broke up with me in January.  I changed my relationship status.  And I still get ads targeted toward Jewish people.  Did you know, for instance, that there was an honest-to-god music festival called “Jewlicious”?  When I saw it, my jaw dropped.  Recently, I’ve been getting ads asking me if I’ve got “the next big Jewish idea”.  I wonder what makes an idea Jewish…  strike that, I don’t wonder.  There’s some rabbi with ads up, I’ve been seeing his picture recently, letting us all know about his website.  The funny thing is, my ex is agnostic and I’m not a Christian.  Last year ‘for Christmas’, we went to breakfast together, enjoyed the empty streets, and went our separate ways for the day (which meant taking a nap for me).  You’d think they would have gotten that whole “not into it” memo, right?


Lots of ad dollars are being wasted.  Before someone tries to construe this as being an anti-Semitic screed (you’d have to be a real dumb-ass to think that about me), I don’t want to see any ads at all on Facebook.  I get ads for expecting mothers (NEVERRRRR!!), interracial dating sites (I get down with any ethnicity, but I’m fine being single), and for masters programs in teaching; when I go back to school, it’ll be to get my MFA.


    I’m gonna need Facebook to get with it, this is ridiculous.


Amazing Grace

I’ve professed my undying love for Grace Jones profusely on this blog several times.  I can’t say anything that I’ve not said already.  So for the rest of this month, Her Royal Angularity will be featured in the video box.  Now, ponder this:



Four Lions


The trailer:


I Want to Believe… in KPFK


KPFK is a listener-sponsored public radio station on the Pacifica network in Los Angeles.  Because they are 100% listener-sponsored (the amounts granted from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting being a pittance), and because they don’t take corporate donations (unlike NPR), and because they don’t run commercials, they are refreshingly unbeholden (yeah, I made up another word, what of it [how about all these ellipses!]) to anyone’s point of view except that of the parent organization.

Also, because of the all the above reasons, they have to run fund drives almost 5 times a year for up to three weeks each time.  It’s exhausting to even listen to.  And it’s incredibly disheartening.  And you can hear the desperation – especially recently, as times are really tough for everyone.  And that exhaustion and desperation is a turn-off.  And it makes me not want to donate.

Presently, the way the fund drives go is like this:  the hosts of the most popular shows plead for you to call in and pledge x amount of dollars in exchange for a great thank-you gift.  Later in the hour of any given show (excepting a few), some extra gift will be announced.  And they tell you all these dollar amounts that you can pledge at.  Plus another dollar amount that will get you another great gift.  TOO MANY NUMBERS, MAN!!!  And they beg and plead for money.  And they end up broadcasting reruns of the pledge drive from a couple days before.  And there’s 500,000 different packages and prizes and things and stuff and such-like.  And all that changes from day-to-day.  Meu Deus e ai ai ai…

My Enlightened Suggestions

1. Stop calling it a fund drive; call it a membership drive.  When you shift the emphasis from money to membership, people breathe a collective sigh.  It will trickle down in many ways; for instance, instead of wildly exhorting your listeners to help raise $3000 by the end of the hour, cheerfully invite them to become a member, and emphasize how many memberships you’d like to raise by the end of the hour.  Not how many basic memberships, not how many upper-level memberships, just memberships – be vague.  The main reason I cringe when the fund drives gear up is because of how much time is spent on trying to get the big-buck donations rolling in, which disenfranchises us who don’t have much money to give but would like to.  We can feel included.  If the words you use didn’t matter, then Frank Luntz wouldn’t have a job.

2.  Have ONE set pool of gifts, NO ADD ONS.  It is waaaayyyy confusing when listening to the different shows through the day, trying to keep up with what everyone is offering.  Before the drive begins, secure a pool of gifts that will be offered throughout the drive.  Have two categories, the first one corresponding to lower-level pledges (newspaper subscriptions, DVDs, books, other media, tickets to plays, etc.), and the second one corresponding to higher-level pledges (the iPad with radio archives pre-loaded, tickets to high-profile events, museum memberships, dinner with Amy Goodman, etc.).  Each show host could offer their own gift that corresponds to the subject matter that they cover, and during their hour, they could feature their gift while emphasizing all membership levels, and encouraging listeners to visit the website for more information.  Have this clearly spelled out on the website.

3. Establish yearly membership levels with catchy names.  There’s a reason why other organizations do it.  That reason is because it works.  It takes out a lot of the math and thinking, and gives the potential donor something to positively identify with.  Based on all the pledge drives I’ve listened to, here’s my enlightened sub-suggestion on this (these names are only suggestions):

  • $25+ Basic Membership – comes with bumper sticker/keychain/license plate frame/some other like gift
  • $50+ “True Progressive” Membership – comes with a Basic gift + their choice of one of the thank you gifts being currently offered in the lower category
  • $100+ “Leftist” Membership – comes with Basic gift + their choice of two of the thank you gifts being currently offered in the lower category
  • $150+ Film Club Membership – comes with Basic gift, one DVD of their choice that’s currently being offered as a thank you gift, and tickets to film screenings
  • $150+ “Activist” Membership – comes with Basic gift + their choice of a lower category gift and their choice of a upper category gift
  • $200+ “Freedom Fighter” Membership – comes with Basic gift + their choice of two upper category gifts
  • $250+ “Pacifica Friend” Membership – comes with Basic gift + their choice of any three gifts, regardless of category
  • $300 and beyond “Pacifica Angel” Membership – comes with their choice of any four gifts regardless of category plus a tour of the station and the privilege of watching a show of their choice being produced live (must make appointment)

I’d say tweak the dollar amounts as needed because I’m not an economist, but you get the gist.

4. REVAMP YOUR WEBSITE!!!!!  I listen in my car and on the internet at home.  There are thousands of internet listeners.  And yet, right now, as I click visit the site, it looks so 2004, and it’s built that way too.  There’s text everywhere in patchwork, no unifying color scheme, and five different kinds of fonts.  This is unacceptable and it matters.  Just because KPFK is a no-frills, listener-sponsored station doesn’t mean the website has to be unattractive and unorganized.  The parent Pacifica site is quite nice, and easy on the eyes.  If money is an issue, and I suspect it is, set up an internship program where college students studying web design and site development can earn college credit while working for you a few hours a week for spring/summer/fall term.  They have to have a bit of a portfolio, and present at least one idea that would help the site during their interview.  This would be profitable for the station indirectly, but profitable nonetheless.

5. Encourage listeners to become a member at the top of every hour, every time a show ends, whether or not there’s a fund drive on.  When I first began listening to KPFK, I didn’t even know that this was an option until that summer’s fund drive.

6. Throw fun events throughout the year where people only have to donate to get in.  No minimum donations, either.  Because I’ve found in several fundraising situations that when you ask for a donation and you don’t give a dollar amount, you get more than what you’d expect.  All proceeds benefit the station directly.  And there are plenty of entertainers here in LA who love KPFK and would graciously perform/do whatever for no fee, and organizations willing to donate their time in event production because it would be a tax write-off, and teenagers who could get involved and help out while getting their required volunteer hours.


Okay, I’m spent, but this has been burning inside me for quite some time.  KPFK has been in dire financial straits recently, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  Not if we work smarter and hold on to methods that are effective.  If current methods were already effective, the station would not be in the situation that it’s in so severely.  Yes, I know we’re in a recession:  my pocketbook says so, and so does the fact that I have 3 jobs and I’m about to start another.  But surely extending every fund drive by an extra week will not cut it; that isn’t a true adaptation to changing needs.  Times have changed, and Pacifica’s methods in fundraising must change as well.  I don’t know what I would do if KPFK went off the air, and if you suggest I listen to NPR, I will punch you in your tricep.  Hard.  I doubt that the people who need to see this will – my readership is all of 10, and that’s on a good day.  But I just wanted to put this out there, because the next membership drive is coming soon, and I hate to skip over 90.7 just because the begging is too excruciating to hear.


I Love My Hair!

Don’t worry, I’m not going to post the viral Sesame Street song because I know you’ve seen it several times, and I KNOW you loved the shit out of it!  The above is just simply a true statement.  I didn’t always love my hair, and like many black girls, I viewed my hair as a problem that needed fixing.  It was one day out of the clear blue in 2005 that I decided to stop getting perms.  I did a long transition, and that fall I cut off the permed ends, revealing the start of a little ‘fro underneath.


I felt so free, yet after 22 years of doing everything I could to make my hair look European, I didn’t really have much knowledge of how to take care of my hair, such as what makes it tick, how to manage it, what products to use, etc.  Honestly, until recently, it’s been a lot of trial and error, but for the most part my hair has flourished.

mac5      aftershow  gore2

The two best online resources that I’ve stumbled upon are BGLH and Kimmaytube.  BGLH is featured on my blogroll over there –>, and it’s sort of like a gathering of “natural minds”.  Contributors and readers share styling and care tips, post style pictures, and share personal journeys toward self-acceptance.

I love love LOVE Kim Love, founder of Luv Naturals and Kimmaytube.  Her channel is now featured over there –> , and below is an introductory video.

Both are excellent resources when it comes to letting go of the perm and pressing comb – I wish I had been aware of both when I first started my transition.  My mother decided to go natural, and I’ll be helping her.


Regarding the Mid-Term Elections…

Just as I thought, no tidal wave and total tsunami and devastating category 5 hurricane of Republican victory.  So they took the House.  And?  Business as usual.  I truly mourn the loss of Alan Grayson and Russ Feingold, though.  As you may know, I’m a non-partisan voter because I refuse to count myself a member of a political party that falls all over itself for the opportunity to be doormat to the Republicans.  Grayson and Feingold, however, truly shone in that darkness of milquetoastiness.  Now Kucinich, Barney Frank, and Bernie Sanders are all the Democrats have left (I know Sanders is Independent, but he’s leftist).

Meanwhile, I’m here in California, and nothing’s gonna change our blueness so hooray for that!  And hooray for no more election coverage!  Here’s something to empty your mind to…


…those were the good old days…


P.S. – Texas.  Really?  I mean really?  *siiiigggghhh*




image 2006873224-0Excitement! My first art studio! My friend and I will be sharing it, but still, I’m so happy! The entire building will have anywhere from 10 – 15 artist’s workspaces.  We’ll be moving our stuff in around late November/early December. I’ve wanted this for so long, for years man. I can’t say that this year has been disappointing, it’s just that after applying for fellowships and performance opportunities without a single acceptance, I’ve been feeling a little irked. It’s to the point where if I’m not accepted into grad school, I might have to fall off the edge of the world for a while. I don’t want to be a huge art star, I just want access to resources so I can do what I need to. I know who I am, and I’ll never be built for anything other than producing art and being creative. I hope that finally having a workshop – space to DO – will help my energy. I’ve got big plans for you.


Summer Highlights

As afore mentioned, for once I was not a drain on the national economy, and had a job working for an arts and creativity-centered day camp this past summer. The kids were grouped according to age, and I was the counselor along with 3 others for The Shags, AKA the six year olds. The camp is very expensive, so I knew before we got started that the vast majority of the families sending their kids to us would be much more than just well-off. These people are downright wealthy, and I was feeling a little apprehensive because I was so sure that all the kids would be screaming entitled brats. Let me tell you something right now. Those kids were super-awesome!!! I guess our camp attracts the more liberal/progressive demographic within the wealthy, because all the kids were very sweet, nice, and for the most part, very considerate. Now, let me tell you something else right now: SIX YEAR OLDS ARE THE SHIT, YO!!! Anyone who isn’t six can go to hell, and that includes me. This was the best job I’ve had in my life, and I told my boss that I want to be a Shags counselor 4 lyfe, homes.

I was also in charge of editing our movie for all three sessions. The kids had a choice of making a music video, a news report, a commercial, or a movie trailer. Then, they would decide what the subject matter would be, what kind of music to use, etc. So basically, they conceptualized and I executed. This is what we came up with.




Isn’t that wonderful? I can’t wait for next summer!


Le Sigh…


Oh baby. Let me take care of you. Let me bathe in you. Let me liquor you up and love you down.


Btw I have a new friend who sports the Bronson mustache, and I find it much less annoying than the hipster beard. So it hath been decreed – well-kept handlebar mustaches in, “ironic” (kill yourself, please) beards out. Groom yourselves accordingly, guys.


An Unapologetically Leftist Guide to the California Ballot Propositions

If you’re not a self-described leftist, liberal, progressive, or other such animal, then just pass on over this and vote any way you want. This is not subject to debate, and I’m not interested in any opposing viewpoints. This is for my like-minded comrades who want to vote their principles, but may not have had the time and/or wherewithal to do their own investigation. For further explanation of some of the more important ballot measures, scroll down. 

19 – YES

20 – YES, please.

21 – YES

22 – YES

23 – HELL NO!

24 – YES

25 – HELL YES!

26 – HELL NO!

27 – NO and NO

Proposition 19 legalizes marijuana under California but not federal law. Local governments will be able to tax and regulate its commercial production, distribution, and sale. Guys. Look. I don’t even smoke. I’ve eaten the occasional brownie and that’s about all I can take, so I don’t have any vested personal interest in this. But all this locking up kids and grown-ups over something much less lethal than alcohol or tobacco is just plain ridiculous, and it’s led to a COLOSSAL waste of money. Most of the people I know who smoke do it responsibly, just the way it’s possible to drink responsibly. It’s time we grew up and led the way toward decriminalization. Make 18 the legal age like cigarettes, and encourage kids through education to stay away from harmful substances, and STOP TELLING PEOPLE IT’S A GATEWAY DRUG, ‘CAUSE IT AIN’T.

Propositions 20 and 27 are two sides of the same coin. What it comes down to is: Who benefits? Recently, there was a state redistricting commission authorized to choose a 14 member independent panel to take charge of drawing California’s district lines. Of course, politicians (especially the drastically outnumbered Republicans) would love to keep gerrymandering the shit out of everything, so they stand to lose if 20 is passed (which would remove the politicians from the process) and 27 isn’t passed (which would eliminate the panel). I recently listened to a radio program that was discussing the history of this panel, and how great care was being taken to narrow down the list of people on it and make sure they reflect the diversity of our population. After almost two years, they’re almost done. Let’s let them finish so we can have some change up in here.

Proposition 23 is funded by oil billionaires from Texas who don’t even live here, and it’s passage would suspend our air pollution control law (AB 32) until unemployment drops to 5.5 percent. YEAH FRIGGIN’ RIGHT. As a native Texan, I would like to say from the bottom of my heart and with all sincerity, EFF THOSE DUDES. I truly hope no one is falling for their ads all over the place, and we need to make sure people understand that this proposition is utter bullshit. NO ON 23!

Propositions 25 and 26 are also two sides of the same coin. Here’s why we can never get anything done, and our budgets are always being held up until several months after the end of every fiscal year: we have to have a two-thirds vote in the legislature to move forward on ANYTHING. The vast majority of the other states rule by simple majority, but noooooooo!! Not here in the Sunshine State! So what this means, of course, is that the outnumbered Republicans get to hold EVERYTHING up and pout and fuss until they get their way. And they don’t even represent the majority of the state! Prop. 25 would get rid of this two-thirds bullshit and establish a simple majority for passing legislation, but would retain two-thirds vote for new taxes. Which is fine, I suppose. Prop. 26 would “require that certain state and local fees be approved by two-thirds vote.” I say vote NO on this one because it’s just way too vague. In the official ballot, it says that “Fees include those that address adverse impacts on society or the environment caused by the fee-payer’s business.” My 8th grade English teacher always said “SHOW SPECIFICITY!” We’re gonna need a separate proposition just to determine what “adverse impacts on society…” would even be.

You’re welcome. And don’t ever let me find out that you voted for Meg Whitman – my mockery of you will be relentless, whether you’re my best friend or someone I find mildly annoying. And to my fellow Texans on November 2nd: FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STOP VOTING FOR RICK PERRY!!! Sheesh!!


Catching Up

Greetings, groupies. Sorry for my absence. I actually had a job for once this summer as a day camp counselor, and after it was over, it was hard to get back into writing. Plus, I’m super behind on some personal video and photo projects. But Peggy told me to get back to it last night after a rousing dance session at The Abbey, and whatever Peggy wants, Peggy gets. What’s new with me? Well, let me tell ya! I did a Smirnoff commercial in Vegas in August, and dammit why are my residuals taking so long to start trickling in? It’s been running on cable for a month. I’ve decided to try and get more talent jobs (CSI tomorrow!), and if I can get one or two more big gigs like the Smirnoff one before the end of the year, I’m going to quit as a substitute teacher for LAUSD. It’s very tedious waking up every morning at 6.30 and twiddling my thumbs until 8 for a call that most likely won’t come. In fact, today is my first work day this school year – I only got 12 days TOTAL for 2009 – 2010. Ridiculous.

So my focus from now on will be getting a casting agent, finishing personal projects, doing my series on FrenchTele, applying for grad school, and partying hearty. It’s important to party. It’s good for your well-being and such-like.

To get back into the groove of things the music group of the week is Alice In Chains, featured in the handy and cute little YouTube bar to your right. I was super into alternative and grunge when I was in junior high, and Alice In Chains is an all-time favorite for me to this day. They were old school rock and roll: they sang the blues in harmony, but with a contemporary rock bent. And man, Layne Staley sang like a southern black woman done wrong by her man, her ma’am, AND her kids. I’m sorry if this sounds a little too mainstream, but Man In The Box is such a quintessential song to me – if it makes you feel better, I Know Something Bout You is my favorite.

I’ve added a new page featuring orphan shoes. Check it out and enjoy.



But it’s not like you didn’t know that anyway. 

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Alpha Dog of the Week - George Rekers
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorFox News

Any time you see a political or religious figurehead fighting against the rights of the LGBTQ population, rest assured that THEY’RE GAY.  And if you deny it, YOU’RE GAY.  GAY GAY GAY FUH-LAAAAAMMIIIINNNGG!

Stephen Colbert you’re so dreamy!


Role Modeling

Growing up, I didn’t look up to celebrities and famous people.  I looked up to my little sister and craved favor from my mother and my friends.  I’m not sure why, but that’s just how I was.  I had a crush on Jasmine Guy and liked Karen White and Janet Jackson as a child, and I especially loved Alanis Morrisette in my middle school years, but I did not try to dress like them, talk like them, or embody their personalities.  Now that I’m pushing 30, for some reason I find that I’m looking up to certain famous women more and more.  I realized recently that they all have something in common:  they have qualities that my mother and her sisters possess.  I love that!  This post at Bitch Magazine got me thinking about who I look to for inspiration as an adult.

My mother definitely goes at the top of the list.  My parents got divorced when I was 4 and my sister was 2, and while I have memories of some of the really bad arguments they got into, I barely remember the transition from Daddy living at home to Daddy living somewhere else.  She raised us by example:  she didn’t and doesn’t talk about people behind their backs, she didn’t and doesn’t seek male approval (only the love of her husband, my step-dad Otis, whom I love), she didn’t and doesn’t have stupid-ass, Cosmo-ass magazines around the house, she wasn’t and isn’t petty, she didn’t and does not seek our friendship, and she didn’t and absolutely DOES NOT PUT UP WITH BULLSHIT.  Yes!  She’s the mother of mothers, and she got it from her mother, who got it from her mother.  She looks like a fertility goddess these days.  I told her that and she got ticked off.   Anyone who compliments me about my deportment gets an earful about my mother these days.

I think there are two kinds of role models, though:  the kind who you see yourself being like one day, and the kind that you admire and draw inspiration from.  I am my mother on a genetic level and I have become her as an adult, with some extra-ness thrown in; we’re a lot alike, but not all the way.  She’s the first kind of role model for me.  There are other people – okay, women - that I’ve come to view as role models in my adulthood, and they inspire me to no end.

Mary Magdalene

She was an adulteress.  She met a man one day who did not judge her and she fell in love with him and left her old life behind.  Who wouldn’t do so for love?  Who wouldn’t love such a man?  He was called Immanuel.  To an outsider, she would have looked like a female seeking male approval, but I see her devotion as borne out of deep gratitude and true love, and she refused to feel ashamed about her past.  No, I do not believe that she and “Jesus” got married and had a kid a la The DaVinci Code (that book was kinda dumb).  I may not be the marrying type, but I don’t see anything wrong with sticking to the one you love, even if you’ll never have them physically.  If you disagree, then you have never known love.

Grace Jones

I almost cried when I couldn’t afford to go to her concert last year.  I almost cried again when she cancelled her Coachella appearance this year.  Grace Jones is IT.  Her magnetism is palpable, and at 61 years old she’s still doing what Lady Gaga only wishes she could be (child don’t get me started – different post for a different day).  Singer, fashion model, performance artist, actress, Mrs. Jones is my inspiration.  I especially became more fascinated as I began to do more performance art myself.  As you have probably guessed, VOS is no more, but I looked to Princess Grace to inform and embody my character.  I did not copy anything she did; rather, I wanted to capture her spirit in what I was doing and turn in into something that was mine.  One day I’ll have my chance to see her live, and I’ll kiss her feet.  Favorite quote:  “I also believe that all men must be penetrated…” from V Magazine interview


She’s sooooooo cool!  I love her voice, I love her concepts, I love her openness and her loving heart!  I love it that, just like Grace Jones, she’s an older artist who refuses to infantilize herself and dumb herself down just to appeal to a mainstream youth audience.  I’ve never had the chance to see her live, but I hope I do one day.  Pagan Poetry is one of my all-time favorite love songs and music videos, and I cry every time I hear it (don’t ever tell anyone that I’ve cried!).  I think she could have done better as far as choosing a mate (I can’t stand the work of Matthew Barney), but hey… I’m still in love with two exes, one of whom can never enter the country again, so who am I to judge?  I am no one.  There’s something about the way that Bjork wears her heart on her sleeve, it makes me not ever want to be so cynical as to think myself above feelings and hope.


The first Peaches song I ever heard was her remix to Get Me Off by Bassment Jaxx back in 2002.  I became obsessed, and I’ve been a loyal fan ever since.  What I love about her is the fact that she unapologetically defines her own sexuality on her own terms.  She doesn’t go for “conventional sexy” either (unlike the unoriginal, quite conventional Lady Gaga [let me stop]).  Much like Grace Jones, her albums and persona are quite conceptual, and her music matches it.  I got to see her up close and personal in concert last summer for the I Feel Cream tour, and it was MAGIC!  And guess what?  She personally gave me, out of all the people on the front row, an autographed drumstick.  No, she didn’t hold her hand out and let people fight over it, she specifically looked at me, avoided other fans, and handed me the drumstick!  *swooning again* Wanna see it?  Here it go!  ME!!!




This is the baddest homegirl out there.  From her explosive first album Arular to her “controversial” (not to me) new music video for Born Free, this girl has got big balls.  An artist, singer, graphic designer and daughter of a Tamil Tiger rebel, her music defies convention and is so much more than just ‘indie’:  so much so that I am hard pressed to think of a genre for her music to fit in.  And that’s awesome.  I caught part of her set at Coachella in 2008 and her noise was righteous.  I love how political her songs are (favorite= “World Town” from Kala), and they’re simultaneously danceable too.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!  And not to press the matter too hard, but I love how she put Lady Gaga in her place!  OK, I’m definitely going to have to do a Lady Gaga post next.  All in all, if you don’t like M.I.A., you suck and you need some education.  No, I will not apologize.


I don’t seek to emulate any of the above ladies.  I don’t seek to dress like them, act like them, or take on their personalities.  I seek to embody the best of their characteristics as a grown woman, and to live my life as honestly and with as much integrity.  There’s something in all of these ladies that is found in my mother, my grandmother, and my aunties Chris, Inez, and Neat – I want to mash it all up and ingest it and let it spread to my cells and live my life accordingly.

That is all.



The white blanket that isn’t mine is spread on the grass and I lay down in my layers.  My layers of blouse, Sheer Energy Sun Beige stockings, professional black skirt just above the knee, cap-sleeved blazer, one-inch Guess heels, and wool coat.  Texting on the smartphone.  Looking up at the sky, and then there goes that little piece of lint that you can never look directly at – it’s just floating away from the center.  There go those geometric patterns.  There go those rods and cones.

The rods and cones spatter in the sky like nano beads of grease, but there is a pattern, and the sun is so nice and warm.  Take off the wool coat, and I look at the wall.  The neighbor’s wall.  So tired and sleepy, I doze for a few seconds and then jerk awake.  Oh! my legs they’re so heavy let’s let them lay down more.  My heart, it beats so deeply - let’s not do anything.  Energy courses through my arms from my shoulders to my fingers and they are micro-shaking.  Each little breeze that plays across my browning back feels like the Gulf of Mexico. 

Face down.  The white blanket that isn’t mine has face.  It has face. The face morphs from blank whiteness and I say “WHOA!”  But then the face starts frowning and giving mean gestures and looks and expressions and I cry because that is so mean.  I say, “Why would you do that?”  The face becomes many faces, confused and sad and in agony and pleading and I cry even more because I cannot help them.  But then it smiles.  I smile.  But then it looks mischievous.  I raise my eyebrows.  But then it looks surprised.  I mirror it.  Look at the lime bush!  It has holes like eyes, and it’s looking at me with a knowing smile.  It must be my deity.  It’s a dog. 

Blazer comes off; the sun is hot and I want to feel it.  My eyelashes are walking along the white blanket that isn’t mine.  The blue white blanket is the background of my walking eyelashes.  Do you have a problem with that?  I’m so tired.  And yet the sky is so beautifully blue, I don’t want to miss it by dozing off.  My eyes are closed and I see dreams and I’m not even asleep yet.  Off with the Guess shoes, off with the Sun Beige.  On the screen of my inner eyelids, weird undulating patterns of round magenta spheres; now yellow, now Starburst Orange, pink background.  Back to my dogtreedeity.  Still looking at me, head cocked to one side, winking, knowing.  Go to hell – my legs are heavy.

Now heavy, deep, tired, fulfilling, dream-laden, sun-drenched, sleep.


Coachella Thoughts


1.  Wow, I had such a nice weekend!  Had a great time, met many new cool people, and got closer to a good friend – I love you Diana!  Photos soon to come.  I still wish Grace Jones would have made it, but it was great nonetheless; my time is gonna come.

2.  Faith No More – Jesus they rocked it!  OK, Mike Patton came out in a red-from-head-to-toe-three-piece-suit with a cane, and sang “Reunited”.  Those dudes are past middle aged, and they still brought it.  It was pure rock and roll – I went for a tumble in the mosh pit, and it was quite refreshing!  Oh, and let me not forget to tell you that Patton came down off-stage into the crowd, sang “Ben”, and then crowd surfed.  Yes!

3.  MGMT – I only stayed for the first few songs, then became angry and left.  Why?  Let me tell you, MGMT is such a great contemporary rock band.  You can tell who and what their influences are, and yet they keep it original.  They sounded excellent out there.  They started with some new songs which were wonderful – I was totally grooving, doing my disco dolly thing because that’s what I do.  I noticed that most people there were just kinda standing around, just looking at the stage.  I’m thinking to myself, “Do these kids realize it’s okay to dance?  Or are they effin’ followers just waiting for a song they recognize from the radio?”  Turns out the latter was true.  After three great songs, the band launched into “Electric Feel” and all of a sudden, everyone started dancing.  I actually got angry, and I’m never angry.  I had to leave.  What the hell is that?  If you can only enjoy music you’ve heard 500 times before, you’re unoriginal and you’re a follower.  I’m gonna play the lottery, win 300 billion dollars, and buy a venue exclusively for MGMT and only cool people will be allowed in.

4.  Hipsters.  They’re a source of constant amusement for me, but this weekend, they were crossing over into Annoyingland.  Indian headdresses?  Really?  Please read this.  And a good 37% of people looked like they were ripping off Urban Outfitters editorial spreads scrap for scrap.  Look, I love Urban Outfitters, I’m not saying don’t shop there, I’m saying STOP BEING SUCH GODDAMN SHEEP.  Jesus.

5.  Major Lazer – I kinda stumbled into their tent, not realizing who they are.  Have you seen this yet?

Well, if you hadn’t before, you have now.  I first saw this video at a short film screening two months ago and nearly had a heart attack.  The colors!  The electro!  The angry humping!  Ay ay ay!  I like the song, but Christ, yo!  They were pretty fun, though.  They had the whole tent jamming.  I really enjoyed them, but didn’t recognize them until Skerrit Bwoy (blonde mohawk) unfolded a giant ladder, climbed to the top of it, and dove off of it onto the go-go girl waiting on the floor.  She also took the plunge.  The children.  What will we do?

6.  Devo – AWWWW YEEAAAAHHHH!!!  I had been waiting for that day ever since I was FIVE, yo!  I remember when I was little, I was fascinated with those hats and that weird music.  And I was front. and. center. OK, picture this:  five grey-haired, pot-bellied white men in their 60s wearing blue hats and grey work suits run onstage and rock out like it was still 1981.  THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!  They started off with some new tunes which were great (I remember “Don’t tase me bro” being a recurring lyric in one of the songs), and then moved on into older stuff, complete with costume changes.  I was getting a little concerned for the drummer – if you listen to their music, you know it’s not standard, beginner stuff so I’m surprised he didn’t pass out.  He didn’t.  Even after “Whip It”.  They played all my favorite songs – Satisfaction, Uncontrollable Urge, Gates of Steel.  If you went to the festival and didn’t make it to their performance, you have some serious penance to pay.

7.  New Fashion Trend:  the early 90’s.  And you know what?  For some reason, I didn’t find it as annoying as the faux-hippie trend.  True, you could tell that it’s the new thing that everyone’s gonna be doing soon, but I don’t mind seeing what becomes of it.  Lots of guys wearing neon-framed sunglasses with faded tanks, Venice Beach-in-the-late-80’s hair, and light-blue jeans cut off right above the knees.  I swear I felt a time warp, I half expected to hear NWA and Guns n Roses on the radio.

8.  Les Claypool – what a welcome surprise!  They were in the same tent as Devo right before them, so I decided to get in there early and hope that I would enjoy these Claypool fellas.  And they were pretty damn cool!  This may be the weirdest sentence ever, but that Xylophonist rocked it!  Oh, and they all wore pig masks.  They have a jam band kind of sound, and were kinda weird, and they played great music, and what more could you ask for?  Nothing.  So don’t.

9.  Infected Mushroom – SEXINESS.  Well… sorry to say this, but not the drummer, just the rest of them.  It was all the way live hard/metal house and Israeli pride.  Oh, and…

  drool.  And I’m happy to report that the goatee has been shorn.  They gave so much energy and the whole set was really great…

10.  Orbital – It was pure, classic trance house.  I love house music, I don’t love trance, and yet I love Orbital.  I didn’t really know about them until around the end of my high school career, but better late than never!  It’s different hearing “Chimes” live, and it was cool hearing “Satan” too.  I was front and center and I just kind of blissed out.

11.  Hot. Guys. Everywhere.  It was like a buffet.  I kinda wish I had indulged a bit, but I’m sure it’s for the better that I didn’t.  I liked seeing all the couples in each others arms on the grass at night.  I especially liked the abundance of shirtless men.  It was all I could do to keep from pinching nipples left and right.

Okay, I’m spent.  In sum:  the positives outweighed the negatives, and I didn’t do drugs.


Coachella – Faith No More

Now featuring in my Coachella channel -------->

I will now break form and not feature the video for Epic… you know… the only Faith No More song you probably remember.  Instead, here’s a live version of I Started A Joke, originally from The Bee Gees.  That dude can effing sing, he kinda has a Tom Jones thing going on with his voice, but not so cheesy.

Pillow Fighting


Here’s some visuals from my Drrrrooooiiiiiid

2010-04-03 14.53.002010-04-03 14.53.30 

2010-04-03 14.57.44 2010-04-03 15.28.11


Ya Fool Me Once…


…shame on you.

Fool me twice…


…ya foolmecan’t be fooled again.

I Love LA: Citywide Pillowfight!!



<----- This.  Will be done. By me.  On Saturday at Pershing Square downtown.  Click the image for more info, and bring it like it’s never been brought-en…


More Than Coincidence: from “Hot Tub Time Machine” to Parallel Realities

It is Wednesday, March 31st, 2010, and my mind has been blown.  You might need to take about 20 or 30 minutes for this…

I want to preface this by letting you know that I ardently believe in the existence of one Creator of this universe.  You might not know that because I don’t use this blog for proselytizing, and I’m not a Christian, Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, Mormon, nor member of any organized religion.  In fact, I don’t use this blog to expose any intimate details of my personal life – I don’t think I’ve even named my closest friends here – and my “beliefs” about God are intimate to me.  I am a private person.  But I will briefly explain the doctrine of the bible school that I attend, and what I know…

God exists here among us in everything we touch and everything we can’t touch; He uses physical bodies to speak to us face to face and lays them down when he’s done; Hell exists for the Satan that He created, and unless we give up our illusions about ourselves and submit to God, then we’ll be gettin’ down in hell too.  More importantly – our old souls must be exchanged for His soul, and it’s an operation that he likes to perform.  NOW DON’T COME EMAILING ME AND COMMENTING TRYING TO DEBATE DOCTRINE (Christians, I’m looking at you) OR TRY TO CALL ME UNINTELLIGENT FOR BELIEVING IN GOD (Atheists, I’m rolling my eyes at you).  You won’t convince me of crap else, and I ain’t ever tried to tell you what to do with your life, so save it.

Doctrine/beliefs explained.  But what does this have to do with Hot Tub Time Machine (hereafter known as HTTM)?  I hope I get there, just stay with me.

Monday afternoon, I went to go catch the matinee of HTTM just because I wanted to, and I really enjoyed it.  It was entertaining and wonderfully absurd.  It wasn’t mind-blowing, it wasn’t the funniest movie I ever saw, but it was more than just good, so my $9.50 wasn’t a total waste, which is all you can ask for these days.  There was a line in the film after the main characters realize that they’re back in the late 80’s where one of the characters makes a reference to the Terminator series and how that John Connor never would have existed if he didn’t send Kyle Reese back in time to get busy with his mom.  Something like that.

Up until that afternoon, the only Terminator film I had ever seen was Salvation (omg, Christian Bale’s on-set freakout was like DAYUM!!  somebody needs to give him a rom-com role asap before he snaps from all these intense characters he tends to play!) – someone told me that seeing the first three films was unnecessary.

They were WRONG!

OK, I liked Salvation and could follow it well enough because I at least knew the John Connor backstory a tiny bit, but even up to the end I was like, “OK, this Kyle Reese, whooooooo CARES???”  And also, I didn’t understand what the hell purpose Sam Worthington’s character would be after the climax of the movie.  I still had an appreciation for the film and storyline, though.


Back to Monday when I saw HTTM:  that evening, I decided to watch the first Terminator film online, and twenty minutes in, I was like, “OHHHHHHHH!!!!  I GET IT!!”  And by the end, I was like, “Hell, this is a pretty good conceptual film for James Cameron in the 80’s!”  Don’t get me started on Avatar, though.  That crap was trope-tastic, although pretty.

Yesterday, I watched Terminator 2.  You know, I remember when I was younger all the hype about that film, I even remember watching Arsenio Hall when Arnold Schwarzenegger was there to promote it, and the GNR music videos too.  I can see now what the fuss was all about.  But when I got to the end, I was like, “How are there two more sequels if they got rid of the chip, the hand, and the Terminators?  So this morning I watched Terminator 3 online.  Now it allllll makes sense!


I was doing a little facebooking earlier, and I came upon this on someone else’s profile:

Why do I know about half of these? IT'S NOT A TOO-MAH!!


OMG THAT’S SO AWESOME!!!!  And I was like, “I just got through with two days of wall to wall Ah-nold!”.  Christ, I can’t believe this guy is the GOVERNOR OF THE STATE THAT I LIVE IN.  I noticed that the video originated from Pajiba.com, so I went there to check out the site, and I read through some movie news, and then I clicked on their review of HTTM.  I kinda agree with the analysis.

So I started reading through the comments, and it started getting heavy.  Comments started off with the merits of the film and whether or not it was worth seeing in theaters (it is) and John Cusack, to the pronunciation of “Pajiba” (hellooooo!  it’s clearly puh-JEE-buh!) and the accuracy of the portrayal of the 80s.

And then this started.  I’m copying and pasting bodily, and you must read all of it.

Question. If their present-day lives suck, why do they want to preserve them so much by not changing anything in the past? Do they have a change of heart and realize that once they get back to the future they'll need to follow their dreams, or something equally lame?

Posted by: SaBrina at March 26, 2010 7:01 PM

so that Jacob’s future life isn’t altered or extinguished

They appear to be doing this to make sure the nephew's life isn't impacted, disregarding their own tarnished lives. A noble endeavor, indeed. However, a few problems: Apart from the ridiculously loose attention to detail they've apparently given to their tasks (assuming Back to the Future rules here), one would think that Jacob himself would stay in the room as to not affect the past (a la Primer). What if his actions on the dance floor prevented the "fucking of a random woman"? He would, essentially, be cock-blocking his whole life.

Surely this film must delve into these and other troubling questions associated with time paradoxes.

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:24 PM

Here's the thing: if by their actions in the past they are preserving "the present" it is then a forced conclusion that they always traveled, i.e. the present as they know it *IS* because of their actions when they traveled to the past.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2010 7:37 PM

Take that bullshit elsewhere. The simple fact that Marty McFly's mother (who was hot!) told him that her father hit George, but he then hit Marty post-time travel shows that it is possible for one to affect their own "future" ("present"?) by traveling to the past.


What, are you using Terminator rules?

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:49 PM

Oh. If Jacob wasn't there in the past, then his presence in the new-past already alters the past. And when I read the review it seemed like Jacob's life was one with the losers. (Sorry, anybody obsessed with Second Life and living in their uncle's basement.) Maybe they should try to fix his life too?

And if none of them are the parents, why would their actions in the 80s affect the children their siblings have in the (I'm assuming) 90s? Did John Cusack introduce the parents or something? Speaking of, where ARE his parents?

Yeah... I am never going to watch this movie.

Posted by: SaBrina at March 26, 2010 7:58 PM

Oooooooooh God don't bring up Terminator, or I'm gonna have to explain the Terminator Corollary!

Woops, here we go (mostly for my amusement):

The time line in Terminator is bullshit not for the weird way the series plays out, but for the fact that upon closer inspection every act of time travel in the movie creates a sequence of subsequently impossible events. We start by moving to Terminator 1:

In T1, Arnie goes back, and Kyle Reese follows him. However, it is impossible for Kyle Reese to go back because no matter how quickly he follows Arnie into the past, it's inconsequential. Once Arnie goes back, the future timeline is "freezed". You must hit pause at the moment Arnie goes back because now everything unfolds differently after he goes back in time. As soon as Arnie enters the past, he goes and kills Sarah, completely altering everything that follows. In fact, you could even say that once Arnie kills Sarah, it is no longer necessary for him to do so in the future, in which case time just says "I'm confused" and the universe collapses.

In T2, the very second Robert Patrick goes back, you have to "freeze" Arnie from going back after him. The Liquid Terminator goes and kills John (and probably Sarah), meaning that in the future John can't actually send Arnie back in time because he's already friggin dead. Also this means that the Liquid Terminator doesn't have to go back and kill John, and once again time just throws his hands up and says "I give up" and farts everything out of existence.

So what the Terminator Corollary states is that time travel can have 1 of 2 possible outcomes. 1) Time travel is a paradox unto itself; every time you go back you have prevented the sequence of events that led to your time travel in the first place. If you go back in time and kill your dad before you're born, you're never born, you can never go back and kill your dad. 2) The only way to allow time travel to exist as it does in the movies is to account for parallel universes instantly splitting off in infinite dimensions as previous iterations of the universe collapse under uncertainty.

And here's the third point; if you travel backwards in time, and can't go forward, wouldn't you be stuck in an infinite loop? Say you go back, and everything goes the same, but you'd still end up going back in time in the future to make sure the past happened? Or would this lead to infinite copies of yourself going back over and over and over again?


Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:09 PM

p.s. the above only happened because they haven't posted the EE results yet, gorram it!

Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:10 PM

***Alexia here – just a reminder to stay with this.  Take a break if you need to***

What, are you using Terminator rules?

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:49 PM

Oh you BETTER believe it, sister.


"no matter how quickly he follows Arnie into the past, it's inconsequential. Once Arnie goes back, the future timeline is "freezed". You must hit pause at the moment Arnie goes back because now everything unfolds differently after he goes back in time. As soon as Arnie enters the past, he goes and kills Sarah..."

You must have watched Terminator in some alternate timeline ARE YOU OUT YOUR FUCKING MIND!?
That's the whole point, Arnie DID NOT get the Sarah as soon as he got there, man. It took him days Reese was following right behind in fact he went in almost simultaneously. The resistance knew what Skynet was planning and they avoided your scenario(of course I see your point, in fact, it would have been better if Reese arrived first).

Same goes for

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2010 8:17 PM

No no no slim you're missing the point.

Everything, I mean EVERYTHING, happens in the past first. When Arnie goes back in time, he's gone back before Kyle has gone back.

Let's say I put a bomb in the time machine and send it back. It doesn't matter if you go through the time machine a millisecond after me, or ten years after, the bomb has already gone off and changed what happens in the future.

The only chance you have of stopping me is that everything in the future plays out so that you can still go back in the time machine. This means that I somehow haven't screwed up how time travel is invented, and how all the events of your life lead you and me into a position to go back in time. BUT, by blowing up that bomb in the past, if I alter the future in any way (which obviously happens) I have in fact 99.9% probably stopped myself from sending the bomb back. I could've killed myself inadvertently, killed the inventor of time travel, all these possibilities. This doesn't even begin to discuss that if I've already done something in the past, why do I have to repeat it in the future?

So in terms of Terminators (and movies of that ilk), time travel is only possible if you don't consider the logical fallacies and outright impossibilities that time travel doesn't completely fuck the world up. Time moves in a line, even if it's cyclical it has a beginning, present and end. As soon as a Terminator goes back he has changed the direction of the line, preventing not just Reese from going back, but preventing the very reason he was supposed to go back.

The movie just ignores all of this stuff. So do you get it, or are we gonna duke it out all night like we have once or twice before?

Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:32 PM

Christ, look what has begun. I tire of dealing with paradoxes.

What if you go back in time and kill your mother before you were born?

"You couldn't do that because then you'd never be born to go back and do it!"

But ya did. I'm convinced the only answer is alternate realities. Or whatever, I just prefer a universe where the Back to the Future trilogy exists.

Posted by: pissant at March 27, 2010 8:24 AM

Time moves in a line, even if it's cyclical it has a beginning,

On a more serious note: I feel this discussion is futile in that we, as three-dimensional beings, don't really understand time. At best we approximate time.

The best explanation of our ignorance I've ever seen assumed a two-dimensional world (it was the TV). Basically, if we lived in a two-dimensional world, it could be represented by a piece of paper. Take a three-dimensional being, a paperclip in this instance. It is not of this world and can insert itself (poke through the paper) wherever it likes. Now, to the two-dimensional people of that world, this is inconceivable, essentially magic. It can enter the world at one point, remove itself, and enter at another point at will, completely mind-fucking the residents of 2D Land. Not only that, but the paperclip could bend in such a way (or bend the world, depending on your perspective) and insert itself into two or more locations in 2D Land at the same time.

Anywho, all this to say that we aren't fit to negate time travel scenarios as we don't really understand time. I do, however, support the discussion of time/time travel.

But Terminator is totally possible*.

* - Possibly. See previous paragraph(s).

Posted by: pissant at March 27, 2010 8:40 AM

Eh whatever, good nerd off.

I will finish my convoluted, unnecessary way of thinking that time travel may just mean that when you go back, you can do anything and still just be there, sort of applying the law of conservation of mass; you can't just undo yourself.

My problem with the Terminator stuff is that someone has to go back in time AFTER someone else, when the first person is negating the future. Alternate/parallel realities allow for this kind of stuff to happen, but it's a whole other bag of theoretical bullshit.

Does anyone remember how they explained time travel in the book Timeline? In the back of my head I remember (or may be imagining) that quantum physics posited that there are infinite universes that are 1 second (or whatever unit of time) behind and ahead of this one. So when they "time travel" they're moving to a different universe that is 1,000 years behind the Big Bang? I can't remember.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 9:16 AM

***Please take another break if you need it.  Maybe drink some juice, eat a sandwich…***

Oh man, I missed the best thread EVER. I thrive on this bullshit.

My late 2 cents (which nobody is around to collect, so I will take it with me when I go):

According to quantum theory, the forth dimension encompases both time and space, ergo the forth dimension is everything forever. The fifth dimension signifies one alternative timeline. The sixth is ALL alternative timelines (once you start getting into the seventh and on up, you're dealing with alternatives to the Big Bang, which doesn't just signify the begining of space, but time as well. There was no "before" the Big Bang, and the seventh dimension posits that there could be some unknown alternative).

So, if you went back in time and killed your father, according to quantum theory, you would just be standing there with a bloody knife (or gun, or rubber hose or whatever) after the deed is done. You wouldn't create a time paradox. You would have created a splinter reality in which your father is dead and you are never born -- and in which you now exist. You would have left your own timeline and permanently embeded yourself in another.

The reason for this is that time-travel isn't acheived by traveling through the forth dimension (time and space) it is done by traveling through the FIFTH and probably the SIXTH dimension. If you were to travel through the forth dimension ONLY you wouldn't even be capable of killing your own father before you are born, as evidenced by your existence. Within the confines of just one timeline, you already exist. What's done is done. You would fail at any attempt to change things. And really, what's the point if you're just altering some other guy's timeline?

One would hope that futuristic, war-mongering, time-travelling robots would understand this -- but what the fuck do I know? They captured Kyle Reese in the last movie and DIDN'T kill him, despite the knowledge that killing him NOW would prevent him from time-travelling LATER (when he fathers John Connor). So yeah, I guess they're retards.

Posted by: superasente at March 27, 2010 10:49 AM

This is quite the literally the most intelligent conversation anyone have or will ever have about Hot Tub Time Machine.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 2:40 PM

So what you're kind of saying Supes is that no matter what you go back and do in terms of time travel, it only really affects yourself, right?

If the timeline splinters off every time you do something you can only screw with the specific reality you are in.

So if I went back in time and killed Hitler, I could go back and do it and feel jim dandy about myself, but there's still a reality where he lived and did all those naughty things, right?

p.s. Has anyone read anything interesting about the big bang recently? I had one of those stoner moments of clarity where I thought that the universe, which is constantly expanding, eventually hits a terminal point or a black hole just sucks everything up. As this happens and all matter, light, space, and that fun stuff condenses into one point, into one infinitely small and dense particle, it hits a point where it explodes and ta-da, big bang. So while we can see back to the big bang, there has really been infinite universes before and after, and the big bang is a sort of recycling point.

I'm sure someone has had this or a better idea, so post a link or something.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 2:49 PM

Why would universe expansion hit a 'terminal point'?
When you drop a colored liquid into another liquid, do you sit and wait for the expanding liquid to get sucked back into itself?

There's no reason why the universe would suck back in on itself unless the center black hole got too large. I think this theory, which I've heard people say before, merely expresses peoples' desire to see closure or completion.

Entropy is entropy. Inertia is inertia. Neither reverse themselves.

Posted by: Protoguy at March 27, 2010 7:10 PM

"one infinitely small and dense particle, it hits a point where it explodes and ta-da, big bang."

You just described a black hole, which does the opposite of "ta-da".

Posted by: Protoguy at March 27, 2010 7:12 PM

I'm not a physicist, but what about Lost rules? I.e., one-timeline, in which the time travel is already factored in? You try to kill Hitler, and you will fail, because Hitler didn't die. This obviously denies the many worlds interpretation, but it's a still a (seemingly?) paradox-free way of looking at time travel.

Also, from what I recall from astronomy class, the Big Cruch (D-Day's theoretical anti-Big Bang) is almost certainly not going to happen, because the rate in which the universe expands isn't slow enough to get caught in the gravity of the centre. Like, with our solar system, every time the Earth rotates, it drags on the turns and slows down a little bit, and is subesquently pulled closer to the Sun; we will plummet into the Sun before it expands. The cosmic version of this would be, essentially, the Big Cruch; the rate of expansion is slow enough that the gravity from the centre can grab it and slow it down just a bit, until finally it slows it down to the point where it's pulled rapibly and inexorably back together. However, the universe isn't slowing down, so it won't be pulled inwards, and everything will fizzle out and die in a fabulous display of entropy.

Again, though, that's just what I recall from astronomy. If it's inaccurate, please, by all means, correct me.

Posted by: kyle at March 27, 2010 8:08 PM

The center black hole was what I was mostly referring to; I know I may have certainly used some less than technical lingo.

It's tough to keep up with astronomy and astrophysics, I remember the Big Crunch but was just thinking about looking into some more technical aspects.

Juuuuuuuuust throwing out the ideas fellas.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 8:41 PM

So, if you went back in time and killed your father, according to quantum theory, you would just be standing there with a bloody knife (or gun, or rubber hose or whatever) after the deed is done. You wouldn't create a time paradox. You would have created a splinter reality in which your father is dead and you are never born -- and in which you now exist. You would have left your own timeline and permanently embeded yourself in another.

See, I reject this because this explanation creates a reality where the plot of Back to the Future doesn't make sense. I have devoted too much time to that series* to allow that to happen.

* - The NES video game? Are you fuckin' kidding me?

Posted by: pissant at March 28, 2010 11:46 AM


My brain.  It can’t contain…

The Observable Universe

This is a map of the visible universe within 14 billion lightyears.  And you thought you looked so fly in your facebook profile photo.

I started thinking of the universe, the illusion of time (you were aware that time is an illusion we’ve created for ourselves, right?), God, parallel creations and realities, dimensions, dark matter and the Hydron Collider, black holes, creation, brane and string theory, HOLY SHIT!!  LITERALLY!!

I’ve never had a problem reconciling science with God, because if there’s a God, then He created everything that science is based on.  I personally accept that I am not entitled to know the answers to everything concerning the existence of God, and I accept the same when it comes to dark energy and dark matter.  Dinosaurs existed – their bones are right there.  You may ask me, “But how can you believe in God and the scientific fact that the universe is billions of years old?”  My answer is, “I DON’T GIVE A HELL!!  IT DOESN’T MATTER TO ME AND I GOT BILLS TO PAY!!  Didn’t I just get through telling you that time is an illusion?”

I think that “pissant” said it best:  “…I feel this discussion is futile in that we, as three-dimensional beings, don't really understand time. At best we approximate time.”  When I think of time as a measured span within eternity, I think of time as a straight line and eternity as a point with lines coming out the x, y, and z axes.  And I think of that starburst as God.  When I think of the scientists doing their science-y stuff with that collider overseas to try to see the origins of our universe and yearning to discern dark matter, I think of them trying to peer at a physical manifestation of God and His substance.

What’s my point in all this?  I don’t think I have one, it’s just these past couple-and-a-half days have been so randomly connect-the-dots that I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I started with HTTM and ended here writing this epically long blog post.  I wasn’t even trying, I promise.

My butt hurts.