Coachella Thoughts


1.  Wow, I had such a nice weekend!  Had a great time, met many new cool people, and got closer to a good friend – I love you Diana!  Photos soon to come.  I still wish Grace Jones would have made it, but it was great nonetheless; my time is gonna come.

2.  Faith No More – Jesus they rocked it!  OK, Mike Patton came out in a red-from-head-to-toe-three-piece-suit with a cane, and sang “Reunited”.  Those dudes are past middle aged, and they still brought it.  It was pure rock and roll – I went for a tumble in the mosh pit, and it was quite refreshing!  Oh, and let me not forget to tell you that Patton came down off-stage into the crowd, sang “Ben”, and then crowd surfed.  Yes!

3.  MGMT – I only stayed for the first few songs, then became angry and left.  Why?  Let me tell you, MGMT is such a great contemporary rock band.  You can tell who and what their influences are, and yet they keep it original.  They sounded excellent out there.  They started with some new songs which were wonderful – I was totally grooving, doing my disco dolly thing because that’s what I do.  I noticed that most people there were just kinda standing around, just looking at the stage.  I’m thinking to myself, “Do these kids realize it’s okay to dance?  Or are they effin’ followers just waiting for a song they recognize from the radio?”  Turns out the latter was true.  After three great songs, the band launched into “Electric Feel” and all of a sudden, everyone started dancing.  I actually got angry, and I’m never angry.  I had to leave.  What the hell is that?  If you can only enjoy music you’ve heard 500 times before, you’re unoriginal and you’re a follower.  I’m gonna play the lottery, win 300 billion dollars, and buy a venue exclusively for MGMT and only cool people will be allowed in.

4.  Hipsters.  They’re a source of constant amusement for me, but this weekend, they were crossing over into Annoyingland.  Indian headdresses?  Really?  Please read this.  And a good 37% of people looked like they were ripping off Urban Outfitters editorial spreads scrap for scrap.  Look, I love Urban Outfitters, I’m not saying don’t shop there, I’m saying STOP BEING SUCH GODDAMN SHEEP.  Jesus.

5.  Major Lazer – I kinda stumbled into their tent, not realizing who they are.  Have you seen this yet?

Well, if you hadn’t before, you have now.  I first saw this video at a short film screening two months ago and nearly had a heart attack.  The colors!  The electro!  The angry humping!  Ay ay ay!  I like the song, but Christ, yo!  They were pretty fun, though.  They had the whole tent jamming.  I really enjoyed them, but didn’t recognize them until Skerrit Bwoy (blonde mohawk) unfolded a giant ladder, climbed to the top of it, and dove off of it onto the go-go girl waiting on the floor.  She also took the plunge.  The children.  What will we do?

6.  Devo – AWWWW YEEAAAAHHHH!!!  I had been waiting for that day ever since I was FIVE, yo!  I remember when I was little, I was fascinated with those hats and that weird music.  And I was front. and. center. OK, picture this:  five grey-haired, pot-bellied white men in their 60s wearing blue hats and grey work suits run onstage and rock out like it was still 1981.  THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about!  They started off with some new tunes which were great (I remember “Don’t tase me bro” being a recurring lyric in one of the songs), and then moved on into older stuff, complete with costume changes.  I was getting a little concerned for the drummer – if you listen to their music, you know it’s not standard, beginner stuff so I’m surprised he didn’t pass out.  He didn’t.  Even after “Whip It”.  They played all my favorite songs – Satisfaction, Uncontrollable Urge, Gates of Steel.  If you went to the festival and didn’t make it to their performance, you have some serious penance to pay.

7.  New Fashion Trend:  the early 90’s.  And you know what?  For some reason, I didn’t find it as annoying as the faux-hippie trend.  True, you could tell that it’s the new thing that everyone’s gonna be doing soon, but I don’t mind seeing what becomes of it.  Lots of guys wearing neon-framed sunglasses with faded tanks, Venice Beach-in-the-late-80’s hair, and light-blue jeans cut off right above the knees.  I swear I felt a time warp, I half expected to hear NWA and Guns n Roses on the radio.

8.  Les Claypool – what a welcome surprise!  They were in the same tent as Devo right before them, so I decided to get in there early and hope that I would enjoy these Claypool fellas.  And they were pretty damn cool!  This may be the weirdest sentence ever, but that Xylophonist rocked it!  Oh, and they all wore pig masks.  They have a jam band kind of sound, and were kinda weird, and they played great music, and what more could you ask for?  Nothing.  So don’t.

9.  Infected Mushroom – SEXINESS.  Well… sorry to say this, but not the drummer, just the rest of them.  It was all the way live hard/metal house and Israeli pride.  Oh, and…

  drool.  And I’m happy to report that the goatee has been shorn.  They gave so much energy and the whole set was really great…

10.  Orbital – It was pure, classic trance house.  I love house music, I don’t love trance, and yet I love Orbital.  I didn’t really know about them until around the end of my high school career, but better late than never!  It’s different hearing “Chimes” live, and it was cool hearing “Satan” too.  I was front and center and I just kind of blissed out.

11.  Hot. Guys. Everywhere.  It was like a buffet.  I kinda wish I had indulged a bit, but I’m sure it’s for the better that I didn’t.  I liked seeing all the couples in each others arms on the grass at night.  I especially liked the abundance of shirtless men.  It was all I could do to keep from pinching nipples left and right.

Okay, I’m spent.  In sum:  the positives outweighed the negatives, and I didn’t do drugs.

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