More Than Coincidence: from “Hot Tub Time Machine” to Parallel Realities

It is Wednesday, March 31st, 2010, and my mind has been blown.  You might need to take about 20 or 30 minutes for this…

I want to preface this by letting you know that I ardently believe in the existence of one Creator of this universe.  You might not know that because I don’t use this blog for proselytizing, and I’m not a Christian, Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, Mormon, nor member of any organized religion.  In fact, I don’t use this blog to expose any intimate details of my personal life – I don’t think I’ve even named my closest friends here – and my “beliefs” about God are intimate to me.  I am a private person.  But I will briefly explain the doctrine of the bible school that I attend, and what I know…

God exists here among us in everything we touch and everything we can’t touch; He uses physical bodies to speak to us face to face and lays them down when he’s done; Hell exists for the Satan that He created, and unless we give up our illusions about ourselves and submit to God, then we’ll be gettin’ down in hell too.  More importantly – our old souls must be exchanged for His soul, and it’s an operation that he likes to perform.  NOW DON’T COME EMAILING ME AND COMMENTING TRYING TO DEBATE DOCTRINE (Christians, I’m looking at you) OR TRY TO CALL ME UNINTELLIGENT FOR BELIEVING IN GOD (Atheists, I’m rolling my eyes at you).  You won’t convince me of crap else, and I ain’t ever tried to tell you what to do with your life, so save it.

Doctrine/beliefs explained.  But what does this have to do with Hot Tub Time Machine (hereafter known as HTTM)?  I hope I get there, just stay with me.

Monday afternoon, I went to go catch the matinee of HTTM just because I wanted to, and I really enjoyed it.  It was entertaining and wonderfully absurd.  It wasn’t mind-blowing, it wasn’t the funniest movie I ever saw, but it was more than just good, so my $9.50 wasn’t a total waste, which is all you can ask for these days.  There was a line in the film after the main characters realize that they’re back in the late 80’s where one of the characters makes a reference to the Terminator series and how that John Connor never would have existed if he didn’t send Kyle Reese back in time to get busy with his mom.  Something like that.

Up until that afternoon, the only Terminator film I had ever seen was Salvation (omg, Christian Bale’s on-set freakout was like DAYUM!!  somebody needs to give him a rom-com role asap before he snaps from all these intense characters he tends to play!) – someone told me that seeing the first three films was unnecessary.

They were WRONG!

OK, I liked Salvation and could follow it well enough because I at least knew the John Connor backstory a tiny bit, but even up to the end I was like, “OK, this Kyle Reese, whooooooo CARES???”  And also, I didn’t understand what the hell purpose Sam Worthington’s character would be after the climax of the movie.  I still had an appreciation for the film and storyline, though.


Back to Monday when I saw HTTM:  that evening, I decided to watch the first Terminator film online, and twenty minutes in, I was like, “OHHHHHHHH!!!!  I GET IT!!”  And by the end, I was like, “Hell, this is a pretty good conceptual film for James Cameron in the 80’s!”  Don’t get me started on Avatar, though.  That crap was trope-tastic, although pretty.

Yesterday, I watched Terminator 2.  You know, I remember when I was younger all the hype about that film, I even remember watching Arsenio Hall when Arnold Schwarzenegger was there to promote it, and the GNR music videos too.  I can see now what the fuss was all about.  But when I got to the end, I was like, “How are there two more sequels if they got rid of the chip, the hand, and the Terminators?  So this morning I watched Terminator 3 online.  Now it allllll makes sense!


I was doing a little facebooking earlier, and I came upon this on someone else’s profile:

Why do I know about half of these? IT'S NOT A TOO-MAH!!


OMG THAT’S SO AWESOME!!!!  And I was like, “I just got through with two days of wall to wall Ah-nold!”.  Christ, I can’t believe this guy is the GOVERNOR OF THE STATE THAT I LIVE IN.  I noticed that the video originated from Pajiba.com, so I went there to check out the site, and I read through some movie news, and then I clicked on their review of HTTM.  I kinda agree with the analysis.

So I started reading through the comments, and it started getting heavy.  Comments started off with the merits of the film and whether or not it was worth seeing in theaters (it is) and John Cusack, to the pronunciation of “Pajiba” (hellooooo!  it’s clearly puh-JEE-buh!) and the accuracy of the portrayal of the 80s.

And then this started.  I’m copying and pasting bodily, and you must read all of it.

Question. If their present-day lives suck, why do they want to preserve them so much by not changing anything in the past? Do they have a change of heart and realize that once they get back to the future they'll need to follow their dreams, or something equally lame?

Posted by: SaBrina at March 26, 2010 7:01 PM

so that Jacob’s future life isn’t altered or extinguished

They appear to be doing this to make sure the nephew's life isn't impacted, disregarding their own tarnished lives. A noble endeavor, indeed. However, a few problems: Apart from the ridiculously loose attention to detail they've apparently given to their tasks (assuming Back to the Future rules here), one would think that Jacob himself would stay in the room as to not affect the past (a la Primer). What if his actions on the dance floor prevented the "fucking of a random woman"? He would, essentially, be cock-blocking his whole life.

Surely this film must delve into these and other troubling questions associated with time paradoxes.

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:24 PM

Here's the thing: if by their actions in the past they are preserving "the present" it is then a forced conclusion that they always traveled, i.e. the present as they know it *IS* because of their actions when they traveled to the past.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2010 7:37 PM

Take that bullshit elsewhere. The simple fact that Marty McFly's mother (who was hot!) told him that her father hit George, but he then hit Marty post-time travel shows that it is possible for one to affect their own "future" ("present"?) by traveling to the past.


What, are you using Terminator rules?

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:49 PM

Oh. If Jacob wasn't there in the past, then his presence in the new-past already alters the past. And when I read the review it seemed like Jacob's life was one with the losers. (Sorry, anybody obsessed with Second Life and living in their uncle's basement.) Maybe they should try to fix his life too?

And if none of them are the parents, why would their actions in the 80s affect the children their siblings have in the (I'm assuming) 90s? Did John Cusack introduce the parents or something? Speaking of, where ARE his parents?

Yeah... I am never going to watch this movie.

Posted by: SaBrina at March 26, 2010 7:58 PM

Oooooooooh God don't bring up Terminator, or I'm gonna have to explain the Terminator Corollary!

Woops, here we go (mostly for my amusement):

The time line in Terminator is bullshit not for the weird way the series plays out, but for the fact that upon closer inspection every act of time travel in the movie creates a sequence of subsequently impossible events. We start by moving to Terminator 1:

In T1, Arnie goes back, and Kyle Reese follows him. However, it is impossible for Kyle Reese to go back because no matter how quickly he follows Arnie into the past, it's inconsequential. Once Arnie goes back, the future timeline is "freezed". You must hit pause at the moment Arnie goes back because now everything unfolds differently after he goes back in time. As soon as Arnie enters the past, he goes and kills Sarah, completely altering everything that follows. In fact, you could even say that once Arnie kills Sarah, it is no longer necessary for him to do so in the future, in which case time just says "I'm confused" and the universe collapses.

In T2, the very second Robert Patrick goes back, you have to "freeze" Arnie from going back after him. The Liquid Terminator goes and kills John (and probably Sarah), meaning that in the future John can't actually send Arnie back in time because he's already friggin dead. Also this means that the Liquid Terminator doesn't have to go back and kill John, and once again time just throws his hands up and says "I give up" and farts everything out of existence.

So what the Terminator Corollary states is that time travel can have 1 of 2 possible outcomes. 1) Time travel is a paradox unto itself; every time you go back you have prevented the sequence of events that led to your time travel in the first place. If you go back in time and kill your dad before you're born, you're never born, you can never go back and kill your dad. 2) The only way to allow time travel to exist as it does in the movies is to account for parallel universes instantly splitting off in infinite dimensions as previous iterations of the universe collapse under uncertainty.

And here's the third point; if you travel backwards in time, and can't go forward, wouldn't you be stuck in an infinite loop? Say you go back, and everything goes the same, but you'd still end up going back in time in the future to make sure the past happened? Or would this lead to infinite copies of yourself going back over and over and over again?


Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:09 PM

p.s. the above only happened because they haven't posted the EE results yet, gorram it!

Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:10 PM

***Alexia here – just a reminder to stay with this.  Take a break if you need to***

What, are you using Terminator rules?

Posted by: pissant at March 26, 2010 7:49 PM

Oh you BETTER believe it, sister.


"no matter how quickly he follows Arnie into the past, it's inconsequential. Once Arnie goes back, the future timeline is "freezed". You must hit pause at the moment Arnie goes back because now everything unfolds differently after he goes back in time. As soon as Arnie enters the past, he goes and kills Sarah..."

You must have watched Terminator in some alternate timeline ARE YOU OUT YOUR FUCKING MIND!?
That's the whole point, Arnie DID NOT get the Sarah as soon as he got there, man. It took him days Reese was following right behind in fact he went in almost simultaneously. The resistance knew what Skynet was planning and they avoided your scenario(of course I see your point, in fact, it would have been better if Reese arrived first).

Same goes for

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 26, 2010 8:17 PM

No no no slim you're missing the point.

Everything, I mean EVERYTHING, happens in the past first. When Arnie goes back in time, he's gone back before Kyle has gone back.

Let's say I put a bomb in the time machine and send it back. It doesn't matter if you go through the time machine a millisecond after me, or ten years after, the bomb has already gone off and changed what happens in the future.

The only chance you have of stopping me is that everything in the future plays out so that you can still go back in the time machine. This means that I somehow haven't screwed up how time travel is invented, and how all the events of your life lead you and me into a position to go back in time. BUT, by blowing up that bomb in the past, if I alter the future in any way (which obviously happens) I have in fact 99.9% probably stopped myself from sending the bomb back. I could've killed myself inadvertently, killed the inventor of time travel, all these possibilities. This doesn't even begin to discuss that if I've already done something in the past, why do I have to repeat it in the future?

So in terms of Terminators (and movies of that ilk), time travel is only possible if you don't consider the logical fallacies and outright impossibilities that time travel doesn't completely fuck the world up. Time moves in a line, even if it's cyclical it has a beginning, present and end. As soon as a Terminator goes back he has changed the direction of the line, preventing not just Reese from going back, but preventing the very reason he was supposed to go back.

The movie just ignores all of this stuff. So do you get it, or are we gonna duke it out all night like we have once or twice before?

Posted by: D-Day at March 26, 2010 8:32 PM

Christ, look what has begun. I tire of dealing with paradoxes.

What if you go back in time and kill your mother before you were born?

"You couldn't do that because then you'd never be born to go back and do it!"

But ya did. I'm convinced the only answer is alternate realities. Or whatever, I just prefer a universe where the Back to the Future trilogy exists.

Posted by: pissant at March 27, 2010 8:24 AM

Time moves in a line, even if it's cyclical it has a beginning,

On a more serious note: I feel this discussion is futile in that we, as three-dimensional beings, don't really understand time. At best we approximate time.

The best explanation of our ignorance I've ever seen assumed a two-dimensional world (it was the TV). Basically, if we lived in a two-dimensional world, it could be represented by a piece of paper. Take a three-dimensional being, a paperclip in this instance. It is not of this world and can insert itself (poke through the paper) wherever it likes. Now, to the two-dimensional people of that world, this is inconceivable, essentially magic. It can enter the world at one point, remove itself, and enter at another point at will, completely mind-fucking the residents of 2D Land. Not only that, but the paperclip could bend in such a way (or bend the world, depending on your perspective) and insert itself into two or more locations in 2D Land at the same time.

Anywho, all this to say that we aren't fit to negate time travel scenarios as we don't really understand time. I do, however, support the discussion of time/time travel.

But Terminator is totally possible*.

* - Possibly. See previous paragraph(s).

Posted by: pissant at March 27, 2010 8:40 AM

Eh whatever, good nerd off.

I will finish my convoluted, unnecessary way of thinking that time travel may just mean that when you go back, you can do anything and still just be there, sort of applying the law of conservation of mass; you can't just undo yourself.

My problem with the Terminator stuff is that someone has to go back in time AFTER someone else, when the first person is negating the future. Alternate/parallel realities allow for this kind of stuff to happen, but it's a whole other bag of theoretical bullshit.

Does anyone remember how they explained time travel in the book Timeline? In the back of my head I remember (or may be imagining) that quantum physics posited that there are infinite universes that are 1 second (or whatever unit of time) behind and ahead of this one. So when they "time travel" they're moving to a different universe that is 1,000 years behind the Big Bang? I can't remember.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 9:16 AM

***Please take another break if you need it.  Maybe drink some juice, eat a sandwich…***

Oh man, I missed the best thread EVER. I thrive on this bullshit.

My late 2 cents (which nobody is around to collect, so I will take it with me when I go):

According to quantum theory, the forth dimension encompases both time and space, ergo the forth dimension is everything forever. The fifth dimension signifies one alternative timeline. The sixth is ALL alternative timelines (once you start getting into the seventh and on up, you're dealing with alternatives to the Big Bang, which doesn't just signify the begining of space, but time as well. There was no "before" the Big Bang, and the seventh dimension posits that there could be some unknown alternative).

So, if you went back in time and killed your father, according to quantum theory, you would just be standing there with a bloody knife (or gun, or rubber hose or whatever) after the deed is done. You wouldn't create a time paradox. You would have created a splinter reality in which your father is dead and you are never born -- and in which you now exist. You would have left your own timeline and permanently embeded yourself in another.

The reason for this is that time-travel isn't acheived by traveling through the forth dimension (time and space) it is done by traveling through the FIFTH and probably the SIXTH dimension. If you were to travel through the forth dimension ONLY you wouldn't even be capable of killing your own father before you are born, as evidenced by your existence. Within the confines of just one timeline, you already exist. What's done is done. You would fail at any attempt to change things. And really, what's the point if you're just altering some other guy's timeline?

One would hope that futuristic, war-mongering, time-travelling robots would understand this -- but what the fuck do I know? They captured Kyle Reese in the last movie and DIDN'T kill him, despite the knowledge that killing him NOW would prevent him from time-travelling LATER (when he fathers John Connor). So yeah, I guess they're retards.

Posted by: superasente at March 27, 2010 10:49 AM

This is quite the literally the most intelligent conversation anyone have or will ever have about Hot Tub Time Machine.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 2:40 PM

So what you're kind of saying Supes is that no matter what you go back and do in terms of time travel, it only really affects yourself, right?

If the timeline splinters off every time you do something you can only screw with the specific reality you are in.

So if I went back in time and killed Hitler, I could go back and do it and feel jim dandy about myself, but there's still a reality where he lived and did all those naughty things, right?

p.s. Has anyone read anything interesting about the big bang recently? I had one of those stoner moments of clarity where I thought that the universe, which is constantly expanding, eventually hits a terminal point or a black hole just sucks everything up. As this happens and all matter, light, space, and that fun stuff condenses into one point, into one infinitely small and dense particle, it hits a point where it explodes and ta-da, big bang. So while we can see back to the big bang, there has really been infinite universes before and after, and the big bang is a sort of recycling point.

I'm sure someone has had this or a better idea, so post a link or something.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 2:49 PM

Why would universe expansion hit a 'terminal point'?
When you drop a colored liquid into another liquid, do you sit and wait for the expanding liquid to get sucked back into itself?

There's no reason why the universe would suck back in on itself unless the center black hole got too large. I think this theory, which I've heard people say before, merely expresses peoples' desire to see closure or completion.

Entropy is entropy. Inertia is inertia. Neither reverse themselves.

Posted by: Protoguy at March 27, 2010 7:10 PM

"one infinitely small and dense particle, it hits a point where it explodes and ta-da, big bang."

You just described a black hole, which does the opposite of "ta-da".

Posted by: Protoguy at March 27, 2010 7:12 PM

I'm not a physicist, but what about Lost rules? I.e., one-timeline, in which the time travel is already factored in? You try to kill Hitler, and you will fail, because Hitler didn't die. This obviously denies the many worlds interpretation, but it's a still a (seemingly?) paradox-free way of looking at time travel.

Also, from what I recall from astronomy class, the Big Cruch (D-Day's theoretical anti-Big Bang) is almost certainly not going to happen, because the rate in which the universe expands isn't slow enough to get caught in the gravity of the centre. Like, with our solar system, every time the Earth rotates, it drags on the turns and slows down a little bit, and is subesquently pulled closer to the Sun; we will plummet into the Sun before it expands. The cosmic version of this would be, essentially, the Big Cruch; the rate of expansion is slow enough that the gravity from the centre can grab it and slow it down just a bit, until finally it slows it down to the point where it's pulled rapibly and inexorably back together. However, the universe isn't slowing down, so it won't be pulled inwards, and everything will fizzle out and die in a fabulous display of entropy.

Again, though, that's just what I recall from astronomy. If it's inaccurate, please, by all means, correct me.

Posted by: kyle at March 27, 2010 8:08 PM

The center black hole was what I was mostly referring to; I know I may have certainly used some less than technical lingo.

It's tough to keep up with astronomy and astrophysics, I remember the Big Crunch but was just thinking about looking into some more technical aspects.

Juuuuuuuuust throwing out the ideas fellas.

Posted by: D-Day at March 27, 2010 8:41 PM

So, if you went back in time and killed your father, according to quantum theory, you would just be standing there with a bloody knife (or gun, or rubber hose or whatever) after the deed is done. You wouldn't create a time paradox. You would have created a splinter reality in which your father is dead and you are never born -- and in which you now exist. You would have left your own timeline and permanently embeded yourself in another.

See, I reject this because this explanation creates a reality where the plot of Back to the Future doesn't make sense. I have devoted too much time to that series* to allow that to happen.

* - The NES video game? Are you fuckin' kidding me?

Posted by: pissant at March 28, 2010 11:46 AM


My brain.  It can’t contain…

The Observable Universe

This is a map of the visible universe within 14 billion lightyears.  And you thought you looked so fly in your facebook profile photo.

I started thinking of the universe, the illusion of time (you were aware that time is an illusion we’ve created for ourselves, right?), God, parallel creations and realities, dimensions, dark matter and the Hydron Collider, black holes, creation, brane and string theory, HOLY SHIT!!  LITERALLY!!

I’ve never had a problem reconciling science with God, because if there’s a God, then He created everything that science is based on.  I personally accept that I am not entitled to know the answers to everything concerning the existence of God, and I accept the same when it comes to dark energy and dark matter.  Dinosaurs existed – their bones are right there.  You may ask me, “But how can you believe in God and the scientific fact that the universe is billions of years old?”  My answer is, “I DON’T GIVE A HELL!!  IT DOESN’T MATTER TO ME AND I GOT BILLS TO PAY!!  Didn’t I just get through telling you that time is an illusion?”

I think that “pissant” said it best:  “…I feel this discussion is futile in that we, as three-dimensional beings, don't really understand time. At best we approximate time.”  When I think of time as a measured span within eternity, I think of time as a straight line and eternity as a point with lines coming out the x, y, and z axes.  And I think of that starburst as God.  When I think of the scientists doing their science-y stuff with that collider overseas to try to see the origins of our universe and yearning to discern dark matter, I think of them trying to peer at a physical manifestation of God and His substance.

What’s my point in all this?  I don’t think I have one, it’s just these past couple-and-a-half days have been so randomly connect-the-dots that I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I started with HTTM and ended here writing this epically long blog post.  I wasn’t even trying, I promise.

My butt hurts.


Why I Don’t Date

1.  I have absolutely no aspirations toward motherhood EVER, therefore I don’t care much if I EVER get married:  hence, men are superfluous to me.

2.  I GOT BILLS TO PAY!!  WE IN A RECESSION!!  I find that when I’m in a serious relationship, I’m not on top of things in my personal life like I should be.  It’s hard enough to get done what I need to do out here without my making it harder on myself.

3.  There are too many good looking and interesting men in this world and I want to experience all. of. them.  Of course, it’s not gonna happen, but still, it’s how I feel.  *Please note that when I am in a serious relationship with someone, I never have eyes for anyone else and neither am I regretful.  But once I’m cut loose again, whooo boy…

4.  Out of the past five years I have half-heartedly dated several men, seriously dated a few, and been committed to only two.  Out of all of them, there is only ONE that I was compatible with physically, emotionally, intellectually, and socially.  There’s just too much fluff out there, and very few guys that are worth the time and attention.

5.  I’m not very emotionally available.  I’ve got time and love for my friends and family, and that’s pretty much it.  No new people!  I’ve been in love twice, and unless I have that feeling I don’t feel it’s worth it.  Unless the guy is good looking, a good kisser, and won’t ever try to get with me

Why am I bringing this up?  A few guys have recently let me know their interest recently.  I really don’t believe in leading men on in order to feed my own ego so I just gave them a compressed version of the above.  My mother didn’t raise a liar, and I inherited my innate no-bullshitness from her.

I have a few guy and girl friends who tell me that I might miss out on the love of my life.  DOUBT IT!!  I think that most people out there dating are looking for something that they should already have in themselves.  Your boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn’t complete you.  You should already be complete.  They shouldn’t be your other half; they should be your complement.  When two whole people get together who are truly compatible and who truly love each other, that’s the ideal.

I realize that everyone is not like me and I respect that, I just wish that people would respect me and stop trying to make me feel like I’m being cold and not fulfilling my purpose in life.  My life’s purpose is to stay black and make art – mission accomplished.  And I am probably the warmest person you’ll ever meet.  It’s just that if you’re a guy, I probably won’t want to see you again after a few weeks…



I just stumbled on the blog Bottle Service is for Tourists.  I highly recommend it if you’re into LA nightlife and having a quality time out on the town…


How Could I Forget La Cita?

Because I’m a dork; that’s why.  Went there last night with a couple homegirls for some sweaty disco dancing with a Captain and Coke.  Awwwwwww yeeeaaaaahhhhh!!

La Cita is on Hill just north of 4th downtown (yes, AGAIN), right next door to a late night taco shack.  Good Christ I love LA!  I woke up this morning exhausted yet refreshed.  About to head to the gym and then do it all over again tonight, but at Shortstop this time.


Coachella/LCD Soundsystem

I’m way too excited too early.

If you’ve been peeking in on this blog… okay, I’m not even gonna pretend like I have a returning audience.  If this is your first time visiting my blog, then let me tell you something – I love live music, I love Coachella, I’m going for all three days next month, and for the past 10 days or so, I’ve featured Devo in my little Coachella box over there ---------------------------------------->

I really hope they play this!  With all the jerky movements!


Next featured artist – LCD Soundsystem.  I didn’t really get into him until the release of The Sound of Silver, and it’s such a groovy CD.  Yes, I still buy CDs.  What?

This right here is my favorite song, can’t wait to experience it live!


Speaking of nightlife, there are a lot of great bars in LA that are pretty fun and cool.  I come from a bartender’s/avid dancer’s point of view, so my personal favorites are coming from that angle.



There’s no sign out front because they don’t need one, you square.  Shortstop is up the street from Barragan’s on Sunset in Echo Park, and it has a mixed crowd.  Every time I go, there are hipsters (ripe for me to make fun of), locals, glam types, gay, straight, in between and undecided.  The DJs there play a lot of old school soul, rock, Nancy Sinatra and James Brown era music, and it’s wonderful!  Complete with a dance floor and disco ball, smoking patio for you damn cancer-stick addicts, pool table, and arcade games.  You’re welcome.





Bar 107

My Photos | They sounded as good as they look | bar107

So their sign doesn’t actually say “Bar 107”, but that’s the name of the place.  It’s on 4th Street downtown across from Rocket Pizza.  The bartenders have snarky attitude – which I absolutely adore – and there’s a dance floor in the back.  The DJ plays the most random, un-thematic music in town.  I dropped in before meeting a friend last week for St. Patty’s, and they played James Brown, Tupac, Appollonia 6 (Sex Shooter, you know I went crazy), some new wave 80s song, and Heart, in that order.  Makes for uneven dancing, but that’s cool, right?  What I like about this bar is that it has this local, dive-y feel but without being sleazy.  And whoever is in charge of their Facebook status updates posts some off the wall ish.

Las Perlas

This place actually just opened a few weeks ago.  I applied for a bartending spot – no luck.  Oh well.  They more than make up for it by being exclusively a tequila bar.  You heard me – tequila and mezcal are the only liquors in this establishment.  And their cocktails are amazing!  There’s one I tried called “Paloma”, and since words can’t describe it’s goodness, I won’t even try.  Besides, I’m tired of describing everything that’s awesome as awesome.  All the drinks are carefully measured and poured, leaving you with a positive tequila inebriation experience.  Las Perlas is run by the same guy who runs Cole’s across the street, and I just have to say that dude had a great idea.

Broadway Bar

OK, OK, I know, it’s the third downtown bar in a row.  Sue me and see how much you get.  Broadway Bar is one of the first bars I ever went to because I have been more of a nightclub person.  It’s two levels and classy with a mostly late twenties, early thirties crowd.  The bar forms a circle!  Ooooooooo!  The bouncers are nice, the bartenders are friendly, and the crowd is always happy.  What else do you need?  Nothing.

There are other bars that are okay, but nothing to write home about.  I hope you didn’t think that Saddle Ranch or Cabo Cantina would end up on my list you damn tourist.  That’s cause for harsh correction.


Damn, I need another kick in the pants.

The aforementioned Saturday night – I’m SO GLAD my friend called me – hereafter known as La Gay (more on that later) – I went to Bardot alone to see a band, but the DJ was playing tame music and it was taking for.eh.VER for the band to set up.  I’m fearless and all, but I don’t like being in that kind of restless setting without a companion.  I’ll go back one day, but with a good friend in tow.

So I joined my good friend La Gay at The Abbey.  And I’m starting to realize that I’ve probably never mentioned The Abbey on this blog yet, and for that, I should be flogged.  Yes, flogged.  By Naomi Campbell.

I EFFIN’ LOVE THE ABBEY!!!  There are plenty of other super-enjoyable gay bars in Los Angeles, but for me personally, The Abbey is the best.  There’s never any door trippin’, their martinis are the best martinis in the history of martinis (I have yet to finish one straight up), the DJs are always on point, and the food is awesome should you get a hankering for some.  I joined La Gay and a guy he had met and a couple of his friends for some great fun and partying – I swear, I had never seen that club so packed.  But I didn’t let that stop me from dancing like I usually do.

How do I usually dance?  I’m glad you asked, and I will tell you how I usually dance:  as if I had lost my mind.  I flail, I get up in the air and on the ground, I grind, jump, throw elbows, headbang, and don’t even get me started on when my favorite songs come on.  I’m a machine, a black hole of energy sucking all into my sweaty singular point.  I’m an animal, I have no coherent thought – only a primal impulse to move.  Oh yeah baby.  And that’s how my 3/13/2010 turned out, praise God. 


All By Myself

I’m a loner.  I have been introverted my entire life – it will never change.  I have many close friends who I adore, but I live alone, I rarely date, and I love to go see films and try new restaurants alone.  It’s who I am.

I used to be really shy.  Like really shy.  It’s something I started to overcome during my latter high school years, but I still have a few traces of social anxiety in me.  To this day, whenever I have a job requiring me to answer phones, I have a small panic attack whenever it rings.  I hate it when people look at me or ask me questions out of the blue.  I can’t bring myself to hardly say “Hello” to people I admire so much even though I see them all the time.

I have never been straight anti-social, however.  I’m usually the life of whatever party I’m at, and I’m soooooo much better at socializing with new people.  In fact, I’m a little too adept at talking to strangers at parties, bars, and nightclubs.  In fact, I tend to get a little too feel-good and impulsive, to where I might take rides to unknown places with said strangers.  And this usually leads to super-weird situations that could be potentially life-threatening or could get me in trouble with the law.  My first such adventure happened during the first semester of my freshman year at USC.

It was a campus party thrown by the NPHC and everyone was going.  I walked over alone, though, because my roommate (who was black, much to my relief) was out of town, and I hadn’t made a whole lot friends by that time.  I will now compress for you the trajectory of events for me that evening:

1. I danced and danced

2. Some dudes got into a fight, someone pulled a knife, and the whole event got broken up

3. I spotted this dude from UC Riverside that I had gone on a date with and didn’t want to talk to anymore, and he kept trying to get my attention so I pretended to look for friends on the other side of the room

4. Everyone was herded outside, and then people started running, so I started running too.

5. I ended up running next to these two guys who were talking about another party and asked me if I wanted to come.  I saw the unwanted past date nearby looking, so I jumped in the car

WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?  Anyway, I think I ended up in Compton that night.  I didn’t know the city yet, and I know that we had driven for a while before we got to the house where the “party” was at, so I think it was Compton.  They drove me back to my dorm around 3 that morning, we had had a nice time chillin’ and thangs.

God is with me.  That’s all I have to say.  Because even after my conscious efforts at behaving myself in a way that befits a young lady such as I, I keep getting into the same situations.  It’s even harder recently because I absolutely LOVE dancing, I’m absolutely feeling SO good, and I can’t wait to cut a rug tonight, but there’s no one to go out with me.  All of my friends are out of town, or they already have plans, or they’re posted up for the night.  And that young, tender, wonderful guy – the only guy I’ve ever been so compatible with, who shared the same tastes in music and nightlife with me - broke up with me because he was “feeling stagnant”.  Which is code for he met someone else, because anyone will tell you that there’s no such thing as stagnation with Alexia Denyce Lewis.  It’s not a boast; it’s a fact.

So the point is, I don’t want my having a great time dependent on whether or not one of my friends is able to join me, but I’m getting too old for my old impulsive shenanigans.  I’m going out tonight, yammit!  I’ve been getting these Facebook invites for Bardot Saturday nights in Hollywood, and there’s supposed to be a good rock and roll band there tonight, so why not?  It’s something new for me.  I resolve to not make any eye contact with anyone, to keep all new social interactions to a minimum, to not give anyone my phone number and/or real name, and to go straight to my car when it’s all over.  I will emerge triumphant, ready to face Sunday with the knowledge that I have the power to overcome my spontaneity!  Besides, I have bible class in the morning, I can’t be out at all hours like I used to do, I’m no spring chicken…


The Somewhat Yearly Coachella Post

It’s time!
This year, I’m going for all three days, sharing a rental property with some friends, and (insert Orange County inflection) I’m so stoked, bro.  I was so excited because Grace Jones was originally in the lineup, and anyone who knows me knows that when I grow up, I want to be Grace Jones.  But, alas, her name isn’t on the website anymore.  BOO.  But, for the first time, there are performances on all three days that I want to see.  Here’s who I’m looking forward to:
  • LCD Soundsystem
  • Benny Benassi
  • Ceu
  • Muse
  • Faith No More
  • MGMT
  • Devo (yesssssssssssss!!!)
  • Orbital
  • De La Soul
  • Infected Mushroom
I LOVE LIVE MUSIC.  You can refer to previous posts here and here to get a sense of my previous Coachella experiences.
I’m going to start a video feature of the my favorite Coachella artists this year under the "Coachella 2010" box over there ------------------------------------------------------>

Related – I was musing over facebook about how wonderful it would be if Soundgarden got back together for one last tour.  They’re another band I was really into before they broke up, but I was too young to go to their concerts.  My homie directed me to their website:  apparently, a reunion is in the works.  DUDE, if they were a last minute add to Coachella the way Prince was a couple years ago, it would more than make up for Grace Jones not being there.  I’d freak out!
Here’s some Chris Cornell sexiness for your afternoon.  Men – look, and be jealous.  Ladies – salivate.
Chris Cornell


Awwww yeeaaaahhhhh!!!


We LOVED this song back in high school!  I didn’t really like No Limit, but I was such a fan of Mystikal!  And then he had to go and be a rapist, smh…


but for real this time

It wasn’t writer’s block.  It’s not that I don’t have enough time.  I have no explanation for why I’ve not posted in FOR.EH.VER.  Maybe because having a Facebook account is a lot like blogging anyway.  I don’t know.  I’m gonna switch it up.


I have a smartphone now (drrrooiiiid), and I can upload video direct to YouTube.  Plus, I’ve started contributing to my friend’s YouTube channel, FrenchTele.  I’ll start featuring that stuff here.

What I’ve been up to:

  • A pretty intense relationship that lasted for seven months.  That’s huge for me – I don’t do the boyfriend/dating thing.  And I’ve never stayed with anyone for longer than 3 months.  Yaaayyyy, new record!
  • A two-month artist’s residency in the countryside of France (see below).  I ate SO MUCH DESSERT, I’m only just now losing weight!  And I’ll never eat another croissant again unless it’s there.
  • Applications:  for the RedCat NOW Festival for performance art and for the CCF Fellowship.  I think I have a better chance with the festival than with the fellowship.  If I get both, I’ll freak.
  • Parties!  Although it’s hard for me now since my boyfriend broke up with me.  I have a policy of not going out alone:  weird and potentially dangerous stuff ALWAYS happens.  Without fail.  And it was so great that I was with someone who shared the same tastes as me.  This isn’t true of most of my friends…
  • Teaching a high school art class from 11/08 until 6/09.  Ay ay ay…  A full post later on that, but let me just say this:  I was a total fish out of water.  I tried, though.  I developed an Urban Art curriculum and taught it the best way I could.  My brief experience as a teacher could spawn volumes of written material.
  • More performance art for Brody Condon.  This one was called ‘Without Sun’.  It was a really challenging experience.  Allowing myself to be directed by others has given me a lot of inspiration for directing my own pieces, and I hope I get the chance to realize my project with RedCat.
  • I started a subscription to a farm co-op service.  It’s called Abundant Harvest Organics, and every week you get a box of pre-selected fruits and vegetables in season.  I just got through eating my first dinner – mashed potatoes, artichoke and pea tendril salad, and collard greens.
  • I finally finished my artist site after monthsClick here.  Constructive criticism welcome.  There’ll be a few more changes, and I’ll get my own domain name once I finally get my car fixed…

There will also be a few slight changes to this blog.  Okay?  I know no one reads this, but whatever, maybe a few people will.  I’m just sayin’, I’ll be here.