Why I Don’t Date

1.  I have absolutely no aspirations toward motherhood EVER, therefore I don’t care much if I EVER get married:  hence, men are superfluous to me.

2.  I GOT BILLS TO PAY!!  WE IN A RECESSION!!  I find that when I’m in a serious relationship, I’m not on top of things in my personal life like I should be.  It’s hard enough to get done what I need to do out here without my making it harder on myself.

3.  There are too many good looking and interesting men in this world and I want to experience all. of. them.  Of course, it’s not gonna happen, but still, it’s how I feel.  *Please note that when I am in a serious relationship with someone, I never have eyes for anyone else and neither am I regretful.  But once I’m cut loose again, whooo boy…

4.  Out of the past five years I have half-heartedly dated several men, seriously dated a few, and been committed to only two.  Out of all of them, there is only ONE that I was compatible with physically, emotionally, intellectually, and socially.  There’s just too much fluff out there, and very few guys that are worth the time and attention.

5.  I’m not very emotionally available.  I’ve got time and love for my friends and family, and that’s pretty much it.  No new people!  I’ve been in love twice, and unless I have that feeling I don’t feel it’s worth it.  Unless the guy is good looking, a good kisser, and won’t ever try to get with me

Why am I bringing this up?  A few guys have recently let me know their interest recently.  I really don’t believe in leading men on in order to feed my own ego so I just gave them a compressed version of the above.  My mother didn’t raise a liar, and I inherited my innate no-bullshitness from her.

I have a few guy and girl friends who tell me that I might miss out on the love of my life.  DOUBT IT!!  I think that most people out there dating are looking for something that they should already have in themselves.  Your boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn’t complete you.  You should already be complete.  They shouldn’t be your other half; they should be your complement.  When two whole people get together who are truly compatible and who truly love each other, that’s the ideal.

I realize that everyone is not like me and I respect that, I just wish that people would respect me and stop trying to make me feel like I’m being cold and not fulfilling my purpose in life.  My life’s purpose is to stay black and make art – mission accomplished.  And I am probably the warmest person you’ll ever meet.  It’s just that if you’re a guy, I probably won’t want to see you again after a few weeks…


  1. U are an artist. So why are people giving you a hard time about love and relationships? It takes someone who is as artistically involved as you are to be with.
    Artists fall in love with artists because they respect what each other do. (that sounds funny i dont think my grammar is correct there) You just keep doing what you are doing honey. I live vicariously through you anyways :)

  2. Love you alexia! and loved ur post!