Folle

The white blanket that isn’t mine is spread on the grass and I lay down in my layers.  My layers of blouse, Sheer Energy Sun Beige stockings, professional black skirt just above the knee, cap-sleeved blazer, one-inch Guess heels, and wool coat.  Texting on the smartphone.  Looking up at the sky, and then there goes that little piece of lint that you can never look directly at – it’s just floating away from the center.  There go those geometric patterns.  There go those rods and cones.

The rods and cones spatter in the sky like nano beads of grease, but there is a pattern, and the sun is so nice and warm.  Take off the wool coat, and I look at the wall.  The neighbor’s wall.  So tired and sleepy, I doze for a few seconds and then jerk awake.  Oh! my legs they’re so heavy let’s let them lay down more.  My heart, it beats so deeply - let’s not do anything.  Energy courses through my arms from my shoulders to my fingers and they are micro-shaking.  Each little breeze that plays across my browning back feels like the Gulf of Mexico. 

Face down.  The white blanket that isn’t mine has face.  It has face. The face morphs from blank whiteness and I say “WHOA!”  But then the face starts frowning and giving mean gestures and looks and expressions and I cry because that is so mean.  I say, “Why would you do that?”  The face becomes many faces, confused and sad and in agony and pleading and I cry even more because I cannot help them.  But then it smiles.  I smile.  But then it looks mischievous.  I raise my eyebrows.  But then it looks surprised.  I mirror it.  Look at the lime bush!  It has holes like eyes, and it’s looking at me with a knowing smile.  It must be my deity.  It’s a dog. 

Blazer comes off; the sun is hot and I want to feel it.  My eyelashes are walking along the white blanket that isn’t mine.  The blue white blanket is the background of my walking eyelashes.  Do you have a problem with that?  I’m so tired.  And yet the sky is so beautifully blue, I don’t want to miss it by dozing off.  My eyes are closed and I see dreams and I’m not even asleep yet.  Off with the Guess shoes, off with the Sun Beige.  On the screen of my inner eyelids, weird undulating patterns of round magenta spheres; now yellow, now Starburst Orange, pink background.  Back to my dogtreedeity.  Still looking at me, head cocked to one side, winking, knowing.  Go to hell – my legs are heavy.

Now heavy, deep, tired, fulfilling, dream-laden, sun-drenched, sleep.